I Don't Abuse Drugs
(Sung to the tune of "I Want A New Drug" by Huey Lewis & The News)

As sung by dope fiend Rush Limbaugh to his dittohead fans:

Click HERE for MIDI music

As sung by self-admitted dope addict Rush Limbaugh to his dittohead fans:

(instrumental intro)

I don't abuse drugs.
I got hooked real quick.
On the air, I'm a right wing star.
Criticism makes me sick.

I don't abuse drugs.
Once I looked overfed.
What I earn with my mouth is high.
It's what I prize: more bread.

Scandal is making me nervous;
Wonderin' what to do.
Scandal makes me feel like I feel when people boo.
So, I'll atone for you.

(instrumental break)

I don't abuse drugs.
Pain, I must kill.
Prescriptions cost too much,
But I got my fill.

I don't abuse drugs.
But the tabloids all say:
Sent my maid out to score at night;
Bought me drugs on the cheap, my way.

Scandal is making me nervous;
Wonderin' what to do.
Scandal makes me feel like I feel when people boo.
So, I'll atone for you.

(instrumental break)

I don't abuse drugs.
And I won't, if I could.
Pop a pill when I feel real bad.
Pop a pill so I'll feel real good.

I don't abuse drugs,
And there is no doubt.
Won't deny that I did do drugs,
'Cause I've been found out.

Scandal is making me nervous;
Wonderin' what to do.
Scandal makes me feel like I feel when people boo.
So, I'll atone for you.
I'll atone for you...

(instrumental fade)