Thursday, January 30, 2003

That's Shrub
(Sung to the tune of "That's Love" by Jim Capaldi)

(No MIDI music available)

(instrumental intro)

Bush has f**ked up.
Polls going down.
That's why his head's
Spinning around.
That's Shrub.
Let's rap him for all his slime.

He'll squawk about war
To oust Hussein.
Hear his denial
Of Big Oil's gain.
That's Shrub.
Bush has estranged the world,
And raised a million fears.

The world knows that Bush can never
Live without his oil.
He stood by and...
Ended our good times
With Enron's bad crimes.

Shrub isn't smart.
His crown's unearned.
Oil's his lifeline,
From which he'll get burned.
That's Shrub.
Let's rap him for all his slime.

The world knows that Bush can never
Live without his oil.
He stood by and...
Ended our good times
With Enron's bad crimes.

Has Tony Blair
Now gone insane?
Pushing for fighting
A war for Shrub's gain?
That's Shrub.
Let's rap him for all his slime.

Bush has estranged the world...
Bush has estranged the world...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...

Bush has estranged the world...
Bush has estranged the world...
Bush has estranged the world...
Bush has estranged the world...
Bush has estranged the world...
Bush has estranged the world...
Bush has estranged the world...
Bush has estranged the world...

(repeat refrain and fade)

Sunday, January 26, 2003

Have A Tequila
(Sung to the tune of the Israeli folk song, "Hava Nagila")

As sung by Jenna Bush:

Click for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Have a tequila,
Have a tequila,
Have a tequila,
It's open bar.

Have a tequila,
Have a tequila,
Have a tequila,
It's open bar.

Have a martini now.
Have a martini now.
Have a martini now.
It's open bar.

Have a martini now.
Have a martini now.
Have a martini now.
It's open bar.

My head... my head's aching.
My head's aching, so's my stomach.
My head's aching, so's my stomach.
My head's aching, so's my stomach.
My head's aching,
My head's aching,
So's my sto-o-o-o-mach.

(repeat verses)
Go All The Way
(Sung to the tune of "Show Me The Way" by Peter Frampton)

As sung by Dubya Bush, the frustrated warmonger:

Click for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

The world has shown its feelings.
There's ringing in my ears.
Got no one to relate to, but Tony B.
No one is believin'
I really need this war.
I will use deadly force, on that Saddam.
So far, I'm stuck here pining
For war, I really want to go.

I want to-o-o... go all the way...
I want to-o-o... go all the way...

(instrumental break)

The U.N. sees no reason
For acting on my urge.
I want Iraq messed up; Saddam submerged.
I'm fuming in a circle,
'Cause I've been voted down.
I'm called a war hawk fool;
My war can't start.
It's Iraq's oil we're stealing;
For war, I really want to go.

I want to-o-o... go all the way (bombs away).
I want to-o-o... go all the way.
I want to-o-o... bomb right away-ay...

(instrumental break)

You wonder why I'm steaming?
I've failed at my war aim.
I can't believe this is happening to me.
My war schedule is creeping.
Without a war, my life is tough.

I want to-o-o... go all the way (bombs away).
I want to-o-o... go all the way.
I want to-o-o... bomb right away-ay...

I want to-o-o... go all the way (bombs away).
I want to-o-o... go all the way.
I want to-o-o... bomb right away-ay...

(instrumental ending)
All I Wanna Do Is Get Saddam
(Sung to the tune of "All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow)

(As sung by pResident Dubya Bush to Attorney General John Ashcroft)

(Spoken:)
John, pour the Crisco,
And bless this country's safekeeper; this is my way...


Click for MIDI music

All I wanna do is rub out that Saddam, and I will try.
And Iran's next, if my war goes nowhere.
No evidence of weapons? I'm pRez, I say we'll kill 'em.
We'll ensure our fill of oil from Iraq, good buddy.
Since greed's plain ugly to see, we won't blunder if we're clever.
Saddam's on the run for his dear life.

And I'm thinking 'bout High Noon at mid-day,
Very far, in places where our Great Unwashed
Don't know those people in the world.
They get drunk at bars, on small tax breaks;
Dozing while I rubbed out Afghanistan.
Oh, what a hoot!

Don't deprive them of alcoholic fluids,
Or they might keep company with foes of our coup.
Hell, they're nothing like Johnny and me.

All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
And when Saddam gives up, it'll prove oil wars aren't really hard.

(brief instrumental break)

I like to stoke fear, 'cause alerts in the morning
Really helps to steal the headlines from my scandals of old.
I dread them; keep 'em far; those who fight me, you should catch.
John, just go on attack; let civil rights burn.
Drown out those protestors, and start throwing and cursing them out.
Keep watching; nip it in the bud, as we spin for my new war.

Make it snappy, because I want my war.
Scandals haunt me, close to one another.
Cannon fodder used up? Then I want lads...

All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
And when Saddam gives up, it'll prove oil wars aren't really hard.

(instrumental break)

Improvise this war of ours; the way we will fight.
Because we'll smash through the batches of old Scuds,
We will burn and we will char;
Be done very soon, 'cause

All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
And when Saddam gives up, it'll prove oil wars aren't really hard.

When Saddam gives up, it'll prove oil wars aren't really hard.

(instrumental ending)

Friday, January 24, 2003

He Won't Hear It - He's Despised In The World
(Sung to the tune of "Spirits In The Material World" by The Police)

Click for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Bush wants no political solution.
Wants an Iraq revolution.
Has no faith in Constitution;
Junk science over evolution.

He won't hear it - he's despised in the world.
He won't hear it - he's despised in the world.
He won't hear it - he's despised in the world.
He won't hear it - he's despised in the world.

(instrumental break)

Our so-called Leader speaks.
Oppose - he'll try to jail you.
Said "Grecians," not the Greeks.
Foreign policy's a failure.

He won't hear it - he's despised in the world.
He won't hear it - he's despised in the world.
He won't hear it - he's despised in the world.
He won't hear it - he's despised in the world.

(instrumental break)

Bush wants Saddam to die,
So Big Oil has its way.
War for oil, Bush still will try.
U.N. says try another way.

He won't hear it - he's despised in the world.
He won't hear it - he's despised in the world.
He won't hear it - he's despised in the world.
He won't hear it - he's despised in the world.

(repeat and fade)

Thursday, January 23, 2003

I'll Get Saddam Moved
(Sung to the tune of "I Feel The Earth Move" by Carole King)

(As sung by Dubya)

Click for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

I'll get Saddam... moved... through his defeat.
Bombs from the sky tumbling down.
Aggression, my war's resembling...
His weapons can't be found.

My navy... will bomb Saddam's place.
Oil's what we want, right away.
More bombing - we won't end it,
Until Iraqi oil flows our way...

I'll get Saddam... moved... through his defeat.
Bombs from the sky tumbling down.
Aggression, my war's resembling...
His weapons can't be found.

(instrumental break)

More bombing! Right Wing cheers me,
As they tenderly call my name.
But the United Nations
Just refuse to play my game.
Said I'm nuts and oil-crazy...

I'll get Saddam... moved... through his defeat.
Bombs from the sky tumbling down, tumbling down.
I'll get Saddam... moved... through his defeat.
Bombs from the sky tumbling down.
I can't lose control.
I've got an oily soul.
I love war, not or cold, moreover,
I'll get Saddam moved through his defeat
Bombs from the sky tumbling down,
A-tumbling down...
A-tumbling down...
A-tumbling down...
A-tumbling down.

Monday, January 20, 2003

Believe Me Or Not
(Sung to the tune of "Theme from The Greatest American Hero")
By Alvin Dover & W. Tong

(As sung by pResident Bush)

Click for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Look what Saddam's done to me.
Gambled on war, that's my bet.
I have to make my case to all the world:
That Saddam, not me, is the threat...

Believe me or not -
Don't have to be fair.
Though North Korea has nukes, I'll let them be.
Iraq must pay, because oil is there.
Hypocrisy? Believe me, that's how it will be.

(brief instrumental break)

Looks like the right wing got its way.
They all tell me what to do.
Daddy's old cronies on top of the world,
Makin' all their war wishes come true...

Believe me or not.
Don't have to be fair.
Though North Korea has nukes, I'll let them be.
Iraq must pay, because oil is there.
Hypocrisy? Believe me, that's how it will be...

(bridge)
I just don't know what to do...
Look at me... don't have a clue...

(sung during instrumental break)
Believe me or not...
Believe me or not...
Believe me or not...
Believe me or not...

Believe me or not.
Don't have to be fair.
Though North Korea has nukes, I'll let them be.
Iraq must pay, because oil is there.
Hypocrisy? Believe me, that's how it will be...
Wicked To Hide
(Sung to the tune of "Ticket To Ride" by The Beatles)

(As sung by Dubya the frustrated warmonger)

Click for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

My push for war's going bad.
Saddam's gotta pay... yeah!
The world says I'm raving mad,
'Cause I want my way.

Saddam is wicked to hi-ide...
Saddam is wicked to hi-i-ide...
Saddam is wicked to hide
Bombs in his lair.

My throne was given to me,
And I wear the crown... yeah!
Big Oil-run plutocracy
Will take Iraq down...

Saddam is wicked to hi-ide...
Saddam is wicked to hi-i-ide...
Saddam is wicked to hide
Bombs in his lair.

I don't know why my polls aren't so hi-igh...
The press is so nice; I get a free ride, on grease.
Reporters won't be asking me why-y
What kind of advice I took to say, "Fight! No peace."

My push for war's going bad.
Saddam's gotta pay... yeah!
The world says I'm raving mad,
'Cause I want my way.

Saddam is wicked to hi-ide...
Saddam is wicked to hi-i-ide...
Saddam is wicked to hide
Bombs in his lair.

I don't know why my polls aren't so hi-igh...
The press is so nice; I get a free ride, on grease.
Reporters won't be asking me why-y
What kind of advice I took to say, "Fight! No peace."

My throne was given to me,
And I wear the crown... yeah!
Big Oil-run plutocracy
Will take Iraq down...

Saddam is wicked to hi-ide...
Saddam is wicked to hi-i-ide...
Saddam is wicked to hide
Bombs in his lair.

I'm aiming for there...
I'm aiming for there...
I'm aiming for there...
I'm aiming for there...
I'm aiming for there...
I'm aiming for there...

Thursday, January 16, 2003

Crooked And Incompetent G.W.B.
(Sung to the tune of "Boogie Woogle Bugle Boy" by The Andrews Sisters)

Click for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

He was a lazy, simple man who always got his way.
Through donors, money piled; he could afford to play.
He's now the top man, through his graft.
Though all his life he fu**ed up, and he avoided the draft.
He's in the White House now, running his monarchy.
He's the crooked and incompetent G.W.B.

His antics made a fool out of our Uncle Sam.
The stock market is down from the accounting scam.
His cronies... want to loot our land.
Because of Ken Lay, this crap... went just the way it was planned.
He's played us all for chumps... in his plutocracy.
He's the crooked and incompetent G.W.B.

We'll boot, we'll boot, we'll boot Dubya, boot!
He's blown his chance as the czar, through despotism.
He can't make a quote, unless
The aides to the czar are stayin' with him.
He's played us all for chumps... in his plutocracy.
He's the crooked and incompetent G.W.B.

He is the crooked and incompetent G.W.B.
(musical pause)
Has right wing crazed plans to just bamboozle the country without mercy.
Aren't you amazed how all the ditto chumps hail to the czar?
To the crooked and incompetent G.W.B.

We'll boot, we'll boot, we'll boot Dubya, boot!
He's blown his chance as the czar, through despotism.
He can't make a quote, unless
The aides to the czar and stayin' with him.
He's played us all for chumps... in his plutocracy.
He's the crooked and incompetent G.W.B.

(instrumental break)

He put the press to sleep, so they won't even fight.
When he f**ks up, they all say how he is so "bright."
They clap their hands; "He's champ," they bleat.
Because we know now the ways the Dumb One bought his top seat.
Bush really f**ked it up... with his hypocrisy.
He's the crooked and incompetent G.W.B.

Duh-buh-ya... The dummy's who's czar.
Duh-buh-ya... The dummy's who's czar.
Duh-buh-ya... The dummy's who's czar.
Duh-buh-ya... The dummy czar.

He's played us all for chumps... in his plutocracy.
He's the crooked and incompetent G.W.B.
Forgot Afghanistan
(Sung to the tune of "Ramblin' Man" by the Allman Brothers)

Click for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Bush just forgot Afghanista... an.
Tryin' to start invadin' Iraq? That's his best plan?
He's buyin' time, deceivin'.
Take oil from Saddam's land.
Bush just forgot Afghanistan.

Well, Shrub's father's now an arms trader for Carlyle.
Pop armed Hussein, but hid what he had done.
Now we're just seeing a repeat of a... breach of trust.
Done by Bush Number 41.

Bush just forgot Afghanista... an.
Tryin' to start invadin' Iraq? That's his best plan?
He's buyin' time, deceivin'.
Take oil from Saddam's land.
Bush just forgot Afghanistan.

(instrumental break)

Shrub wants his way; to the U.N., he's warnin':
"Saddam's got weapons that we cannot see!
He's always giving a hard time to arms inspectors."
To Shrub, control of Iraq's oil brings ecstasy.

Bush just forgot Afghanista...an.
Tryin' to start invadin' Iraq? That's his best plan?
He's buyin' time, deceivin'.
Take oil from Saddam's land.
Bush just forgot Afghanistan.

Bush just forgot Afghanistan...
Bush just forgot Afghanistan...
Bush just forgot Afghanistan...

(long instrumental solo and fade)

Sunday, January 12, 2003

Ann Coulter's Nation
(Sung to the tune of "Anticipation" by Carly Simon)

Click for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

A shrill right wing "ho" - she's really crazed and dumb.
They waste ink about her anyway.
Makes you wonder if she's really confused now
Or just chafing after some minor fray.

Ann Coulter's nation...
Ann Coulter's na-a-tion is aching with hate;
It's steeped with her ha-a-a-a-a-a-ting.

As we tell you how sleazy she is, you'll see, it's true.
And her right wing yarns? Spiels so phony.
But Ann rehearsed those words of hate she'll write.
What was she thinking about? How right her spite might be?

Ann Coulter's nation...
Ann Coulter's na-a-tion is aching with hate;
It's steeped with her ha-a-a-a-a-a-ting.

Starts a quarrel; she lumps her foes together.
She's for profit, and just screw nature's way.
Hear her lies - why she is so despised right now.
She'll say, "It's clear, 'cause... he's czar, love Bush's way.
He's czar - love Bush's way.
It's clear, 'cause... he's czar, love Bush's way.
He's czar - love Bush's way.
He's czar - love Bush's way.
He's czar - love Bush's way.
He's czar... you'd better love Bush's way."
House of the Lying Dunce
(Sung to the tune of "House of the Rising Sun" by The Animals)

Click here for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Stole the White House through his foul means.
We call him Lying Dunce.
And he's brought us ruin bein' Kenny Lay's boy.
It's odd, Shrub can't enunce.

Shrub's father was a failure;
Prez chased from the scene.
His brother, crooked governor:
Made sure black votes weren't seen.

Bush is only king to serve Big Oil's greed.
As leader, he does flunk.
Now his regime has the world all terrified.
He thinks foreign treaties are bunk.

(organ solo)

Bush Brothers... Poppy's children
Tried to hide the things they've done.
They've spent their lives looting our treasury.
The White House of the Lying Dunce.

Dubya ran away from his platform.
His regime has made it plain:
Enron collapse and Ponzi schemes,
Continued treasury drain.

Stole the White House through his foul means.
We call him Lying Dunce.
And he's brought us ruin bein' Kenny Lay's boy.
It's odd, Shrub can't enunce.

(instrumental ending)

Saturday, January 11, 2003

Blue Skies Dying, Acid Rain
Satire about the Dubya Administration's assault on environmental protection
(Sung to the tune of "Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain" by Willie Nelson)

Click for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

'Cause the Far Right installed W.,
Blue skies dying, acid rain.
If Bush ends what he has started.
This world won't be the same again.

Shrub's another lyin' member
Of elites for selfish gain.
From this Age of Bush, remember:
Blue skies dying, acid rain.

(instrumental break)

Breathe your air now through a filter,
Or your lungs will live in pain.
Laissez-faire is right wing heaven;
Blue skies dying, acid rain.

None may bless Bush Junior's blunders;
Why our land was spoiled for gain.
Ruined our land and air and water.
Blue skies dying, acid rain.
Not W.
(Sung to the tune of "If Not For You" by Bob Dylan)

Click for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Not W.
Baby Bush cares not for the poor.
Foreign policy is such a bore.
Doesn't have a clue.
Not W.
Helping him's a mistake, all right.
Hate from the loony Right helped launched his coup.
He don't know what to do.
Not W.

Not W., 'cause his brain is small.
What he would rather do
Is be a dunce who goes nowhere at all.
He's still lost, without a clue.

Not W.
Baby Bush cares not for the poor.
Foreign policy is such a bore.
Doesn't have a clue.
Not W.
He doesn't know anything.
He rules through fear, this robber king.
The world's not his to screw.
Not W.

Not W., 'cause his brain is small.
What he would rather do
Is be a dunce who goes nowhere at all.
He's still lost, without a clue.

Not W.
Baby Bush cares not for the poor.
Foreign policy is such a bore.
He don't have a clue.
Not W.
He doesn't know anything.
He rules through fear, this robber king.
The world's not his to screw.
Not W.

Not W., 'cause his brain is small.
What he would rather do
Is be a dunce who goes nowhere at all.
He's still lost, without a clue.

(instrumental ending)

Iran-Contra Men
The Dubya Administration has seen fit to restore to power disgraced past officials of the Iran-Contra Scandal such as John Poindexter, Elliot Abrams, John Negroponte, etc.
(Sung to the tune of "Stout Hearted Men")

Click for MIDI music

Now back again are Iran-Contra men;
Constitutional rights, they abhor.
We've seen again these Iran-Contra men;
Back in power, as they now push for war.
Though they are older,
They now have grown bolder.
They crow; chickenhawks crow for war.
There is nothing in the world can stall or halt or ban
These Iran-Contra men.
These pricks together should be canned.

(repeat verses)

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

Nifty Ways To Kill An Evil
(Sung to the tune of "Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover" by Paul Simon)
By Alvin Dover & "Boot Newt"

(As sung by Dubya Bush)

Click for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

"Your problem is Osama isn't dead," Dad said to me.
"The answers aren't easy, 'cause you can't think logically.
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be me.
There must be... nifty ways to kill an Evil."

Dad said "Saddam Hussein is bad; you must invade.
Go to war, and just start screaming you're the boss;
You'll have it made."
So if I beat myself, then I risk being a fool.
There must be... nifty ways to kill an Evil.

Just start to attack Iraq,
And if it don't pan, Iran
We'll kill with such joy, boy.
More missles we'll see.

If folks start to cuss much,
Don't need to discuss much.
No one's gonna see me,
I'll get off scot-free.

Pop said, "Believe me, the world sees you with such disdain."
It took him a while to open up and to me, he'd explain.
I said, "I appreciate that,
And would you please explain about those nifty ways?"

Pop said, "To Iraq, go in deep, make it a fight.
Don't you believe Saddam's warning.
Think about Big Oil's plight.
That Saddam dissed me," and I realized Dad wanted war for spite.
There must be... nifty ways to kill an Evil...
Nifty ways to kill an Evil.

Just start to attack Iraq,
And if it don't pan, Iran
We'll kill with such joy, boy.
More missles we'll see.

If folks start to cuss much,
Don't need to discuss much.
No one's gonna see me,
I'll get off scot-free.

Just start to attack Iraq,
And if it don't pan, Ira
We'll kill with such joy, boy.
More missles we'll see.

If folks start to cuss much,
Don't need to discuss much.
No one's gonna see me,
I'll get off scot-free.

(repeat last two verses and fade)

Tuesday, January 07, 2003

Bush's one trick: His phony "War on Terror"

One-Trick Phony
(Sung to the tune of "One-Trick Pony" by Paul Simon)

(Can't find a MIDI music file yet for this one.)

(instrumental intro)

He's a one-trick phony.
One trick is all that Shrub can do.
He does one trick only.
Oil's his criminal source of revenue.
And when he f**ks up in the spotlight,
You can feel the beat of his heart
Coming whining through.

See how he dances?
See how he sweeps questions aside?
See how he prances?
His haughty moves just seem to hide
He's just a one-trick phony (that's all he is)
But to turn that trick, he lied.

What makes him look so sleazy?
He looks unclean.
He thinks he's God's immaculate machine.
He doesn't think about
Any harm from his mistakes
From this dumb jerk and his commotion,
Through his bag of tricks, he fakes;
Bamboozles you this very day.
One-trick phony.

He's a one-trick phony.
Businesses failed; he cannot lead.
His MBA's baloney,
'Cause he cut taxes to serve greed.
He's got one trick to last a lifetime.
But that's all this phony needs (that's all he needs)

What makes him look so sleazy?
He looks unclean.
He thinks he's God's immaculate machine.
He doesn't think about
Any harm from his mistakes
From this dumb jerk and his commotion,
Through his bag of tricks, he fakes;
Bamboozles you this very day.

One-trick phony...
One-trick phony...
One-trick phony...
One-trick phony...
One-trick phony (takes you for a ride)
One-trick phony...