Sunday, October 31, 2004

Satire about yet another Bush scandal just before Election Day: more than 380 tons of high explosives stolen from the Al Qa Qaa Special Weapons Facility during the Bush invasion of Iraq, falling into the hands of thieves and terrorists

Al Qa Qaa
(Sung to the tune of "Elvira" by The Oak Ridge Boys)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Al Qa Qaa... Al Qa Qaa...
Al Qa Qaa... Al Qa Qaa...
Al Qa Qaa... Al Qa Qaa...
Bush called a liar... 'bout Al Qa Qaa...

Lies 'bout 9/11; tripped 'gainst Kerry; whines.
The world has had enough fakes, like Dubya's lines.
Bush and Rummy squealin'... before election time.
380 tons, Al Qa Qaa's crime.

Bush hand-wringing...
Al Qa Qaa... Al Qa Qaa...
Bush called a liar... 'bout Al Qa Qaa...

Listen up! (Boot Dubya, boot Dubya, boot Dubya, now, now!)
Listen up! (Boot Dubya, boot Dubya, boot Dubya, now, now!)
Pull vote levers - he'll pay!

Reports from Iraq theater: how explosives got away.
Now Shrub can't deliver... all the things he planned.
Bushies now jump and holler... 'cause Bush slaves aren't exactly scholars.
Shrub's gonna curse and whine and eat war plans.

Bush hand-wringing...
Al Qa Qaa... Al Qa Qaa...
Bush called a liar... 'bout Al Qa Qaa...
Listen up! (Boot Dubya, boot Dubya, boot Dubya, now, now!)
Listen up! (Boot Dubya, boot Dubya, boot Dubya, now, now!)
Pull vote levers - he'll pay!

Al Qa Qaa... Al Qa Qaa...
Bush called a liar... 'bout Al Qa Qaa...
Listen up! (Boot Dubya, boot Dubya, boot Dubya, now, now!)
Listen up! (Boot Dubya, boot Dubya, boot Dubya, now, now!)
Pull vote levers - he'll pay!
Let's Give Hell To W
(Sung to the tune of "If I Fell" by The Beatles)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Let's give hell to W;
At the polls, tell him he's through.
Iraq is... plundered land.
Bush the tin horn went to war.
Weapons found? No - Shrub is sore.
War lust; oil war planned.

We will give the boot... to you.
We all are sure that John Kerry's smart.
Not you... the Shrub, you dictator.

Lost our trust in you... you sleaze.
Don't run and hide.
We so loathe you, 'cause... you seized
Your oil prize; murder...
Condoned torture, what a stain.
You lied; you're not satisfied 'cause war's... in your brain.

Bush the Dope's regime... should die.
We'd love to shove you.
And so we... will try.
Just one term and not two.

Let's give hell to W...

(instrumental ending)
Dubya's disastrously inept performances in three debates with John Kerry also fueled rumours about the mysterious rectangular-shaped lump (radio unit?) clearly visible underneath his $2000 suit, giving 60 million viewers reasons to have Bush fired on November 2, 2004.

Wired
(Sung to the tune of "Fire" by The Pointer Sisters)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Debating skills, sub-par...
On Shrub's back: a radio?
Debate wasn't close;
The polls said so.
Shrub said, "I don't like it...
When folks call me a liar!"
That static hiss?
Shru-ub's... wired!

So far right...
No brains in his dome.
Lies, all he had to say.
Bush started war all alone.
We say, "Bush, we loathe you,
'Cause we know you're a liar."
Debate points missed...
Shru-ub's... wired!

(instrumental break)

Bush went to war coldly, right from the start.
For tripped-out Right: Iraq, to tear it apart.
Bush swerves, now slumpin', actin' so uncouth.
We'll dismiss him, in turn, at the polling booth...

More scandals blow, just see him sweat.
Hasn't caught Osama.
Vote 'gainst Cheney's pet.
The Shrub, we won't rehire.
Bush won't be missed...
He'll be... fired!

Fired!
Fired!
Fired!

Shrub's Not A Sheriff
(Sung to the tune of "I Shot The Sheriff" by Eric Clapton)

Click HERE to play the MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?
Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?

Planes inbound brought targets down;
Bush acted like a clown.
He said, "Let's get bin Laden; he's guilty."
Thousands killed without regret (can't see).
Thousands killed without regret (can't see).
Bush slays...

Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?
Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?

Dubya Bush is too crazed to see...
Just what he doesn't know.
Every time press reports misdeeds,
Rove said, "Kill it before it shows."
Rove said, "Kill it before it shows."
He'll pay...

Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?
Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?

"Freedom in Iraq," Shrub's way,
Comes from bombs dropping down.
Where's bin Laden? Don't ask "Sheriff" George Clown;
Claiming his loot and crown.
Bush's plot: to hock his crown.
He'll pay...

Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?
Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?

PATRIOT Act has made us less free.
Vote out G. Dubya B.
Election Day, this f**k-up's going to hell.
Yes, that day, his bottom will drop out.
Yes, he'll pay...

Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?
Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?

(repeat refrain and fade)

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Osama's Election Editorial
"We never thought that the high commander of the U.S. armies would leave 50,000 of his citizens in both towers to face the horrors alone," bin Laden said. "It appeared to him that a little girl's talk about her goat and its butting was more important than the planes and their butting of the skyscrapers. That gave us three times the required time to carry out the operations, thank God."



Written originally April 8, 2001

Still The Dunce
(Sung to the tune of "Still The One" by Orleans)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Back last November, you caused mayhem.
Supreme Court... then installed you by strategem.
But we want you to know... after four more years,
You're still the one the crowds will hiss at, to your ears.

You're still the dunce, with no brains in your head.
Still the dunce - and right-wing fed.
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.

You don't have an ace in any way.
Your advisors are retreads from yesterday.
But who's to blame?
You just wanted to show (wanted to show)
How far the right wing could push and not let go.

You're still the dunce - if we could only laugh.
Still the dunce - Bush Lite (only half).
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.

You're still the dunce, who does things wrong.
Still the dunce, you have to tag along.
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.
Yes, you are...

(instrumental break)

(Bridge:)
"Changing the Shrub" is getting old.
Right wing bought him, told him what to do.

You're still the dunce - the Shrub ain't too much.
Still the dunce - with a brain filled with fluff.
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.

You're still the dunce - who protects the rich.
Still the dunce - whom the Right must pitch.
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.

You... are... still the dunce - who is a lout.
Still the dunce - that we scream about.
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.

You're still the dunce, yeah... still the dunce...
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.

President drops 'Still the One'
October 30, 2004
BY DEVLIN BARRETT, Chicago Sun-Times

WASHINGTON -- The Bush campaign abruptly stopped using the 1970s hit ''Still the One'' at campaign rallies Friday after the songwriter, no fan of the president, claimed the Republicans never got permission.

John Hall, a former Democratic county legislator in upstate New York, co-wrote the song and recorded it with his band Orleans in 1976. He complained Friday morning.

Upon learning it had been pulled, Hall said, ''It's obviously attractive as a slogan, but this election should be about content and facts.''

This story also posted at Billboard.com
Ged Rid of Dunce (And Fast)
(Sung to the tune of "Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

"Things aren't working in Iraq!" say the Right.
Bush's rise compelled war theory slight.
Thought the conquest of Iraq, a plan so wise.
Now suddenly, Bush fears demise.

Could fall so fast (get rid of Dunce, and fast)
Vote 'gainst his past (the Bush regime won't last)
Vote 'gainst his past (expelled by votes you'll cast)
Vote 'gainst his past (get rid of Dunce, and fast)

Made war laboratory of the Middle East;
Hatched in corporate bedrooms was their empire feast.
Bush fools all claimed "there's a map with a road."
See, Dick's pet, a dolt, just does what he's told.

Could fall so fast (get rid of Dunce, and fast)
Vote 'gainst his past (the Bush regime won't last)
Vote 'gainst his past (expelled by votes you'll cast)
Vote 'gainst his past (get rid of Dunce, and fast)

Bush zombies just love Dim Son.
Their party just spat and spun.
Who should be booted? Bush clan.
Dubya's time is done.

Obscene and shocking, through press digging, they found
Prisoners in chains, attacked by braying hounds.
The judgment-hangers in Iraq now connive
To soon draft more troops, so Bush can survive.

Could fall so fast (get rid of Dunce, and fast)
Vote 'gainst his past (the Bush regime won't last)
Vote 'gainst his past (expelled by votes you'll cast)
Vote 'gainst his past (get rid of Dunce, and fast)

Pouting so often, Shrub's voice did ring.
Seams in his bubble popped this faux king.
He's loathed, let's rid (he won't be missed);
He dreads: whatever happens, his plans we will resist.

Could fall so fast (get rid of Dunce, and fast)
Vote 'gainst his past (the Bush regime won't last)
Vote 'gainst his past (expelled by votes you'll cast)
Vote 'gainst his past (get rid of Dunce, and fast)

What made this king cruel: how they carved up the land
Bush the Monster planned to invade Iraqi sand.
He's unforgiving, let's smash his damned coup.
Troops blood-let for his war; back to Crawford, he's through!

He'll fall so fast (get rid of Dunce, and fast)
Vote 'gainst his past (the Bush regime won't last)
Vote 'gainst his past (expelled by votes you'll cast)
Vote 'gainst his past (get rid of Dunce, and fast)

(repeat final chorus and fade)

Thursday, October 28, 2004



My ode to the fickle Frankenstein monster of public support - originally written 10/31/01

Dubya Bash
(Sung to the tune of "Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt Kickers)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Bush was waking from his nap late one night,
From a bad dream, yelled,
And screamed with fright.
Dreamt his polls had all gone bad,
And failed to rise.
That folks turned on him, then realized...
(And now they bash)
They did the Dubya bash.
(The Dubya Bash)
Support has turned to ash.
(And now they bash)
It was gone in a flash.
(He's in the trash)
They did the Dubya bash.


From the lobbyists came the cash that greased
All the legal bedlam of their empire feast.
New tools for mining their new mother lodes:
Weak pollution laws, and lower tax codes.

(And now they bash)
They did the Dubya bash.
(The Dubya Bash)
Support has turned to ash.
(And now they bash)
It was gone in a flash.
(He's in the trash)
They did the Dubya bash.

Their lobbyists were having fun.
Republicans have Dim Son.
Their new laws now protect 'gainst
Any wrong that they've done!

His schemes were quite shocking; vote-rigging was found.
Lacking in brains, his policies unsound.
Big Oil hangers-on now all thrive
They help focus Bush on his schuck-and-jive.

(And now they bash)
They did the Dubya bash.
(The Dubya Bash)
Support has turned to ash.
(And now they bash)
It was gone in a flash.
(He's in the trash)
They did the Dubya bash.

Out from his office, Shrub's voice did ring
Always in trouble is this faux king
He can't get rid of opposition and
Whatever happens, Dick Cheney will get pissed.

(And now they bash)
They did the Dubya bash.
(The Dubya Bash)
Support has turned to ash.
(And now they bash)
It was gone in a flash.
(He's in the trash)
They did the Dubya bash.

Now fate can be cruel, and despite what Bush planned,
For George Dubya's bashed, and still can't understand
Folks aren't forgiving, for Bush Number 2
Really lost to Al Gore.
(Like your dad, they'll reject you!)

(And now they bash)
They did the Dubya bash.
(The Dubya Bash)
Support has turned to ash.
(And now they bash)
It was gone in a flash.
(He's in the trash)
They did the Dubya bash.

(repeat and fade)

Wednesday, October 27, 2004


MONSTER SLASH

Bobby "Boris" Pickett re-records a new anti-Bush version of "Monster Mash"...

(Sponsored by the Campaign to Protect America’s Lands (CPAL) and Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund)

Click HERE to see the Flash animation

Click HERE to download the MP3 audio


We were hiking in the forest late one night
When our eyes beheld an eerie sight
Our president appeared and began to frown
Then he and his friends cut the forest down.

(He did the slash)
They did the forest slash
(He did the slash)
It was brutally brash
(he did the slash)
Public opinion was mashed
(he did the slash)
They did it for the cash

The lobbyists were having fun,
The horror party had just begun
The guests include big timber, big oil,
Mining magnates and their sons.

These visions haunt me and fill me with disgust
If we don’t stop them our environment will be lost
So come on now and join me; I’m glad to show you how;
Tell our president to save our forests now.”

Friday, October 22, 2004



Originally posted June 23, 2003...

Won't You Shut Up, O'Reilly
Dedicated to Faux (Fox) News right wing loudmouth Bill O'Reilly
(Sung to the tune of "Won't You Come Home, Bill Bailey")

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Won't you shut up, O'Reilly?
Won't you shut up?
You and your right wing throng.
You defend crooks with money, this pResident;
As weak are crushed by strong.

Dissemble every evenin'.
You stew and shout.
You bluster when you're cut up.
Yeah, we know that's your aim:
Liberals to blame.
O'Reilly, won't you please shut up?

(repeat verses twice then end with...)

O'Reilly, won't you please... just shut up?
The New York Yankees choked in epic fashion, losing in 7 games to the Boston Red Sox in the 2004 ALCS after being one inning away from a 4 game sweep

Yanks Started To Choke
(Sung to the tune of "I Started A Joke" by The Bee Gees)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Yanks started to choke, after Game 4, were dying.
But they just didn't see... what a choke it would be... oh-oh no...

Yanks had gotten by... with very thin starter staffing.
But the Red Sox's team... wouldn't choke, wouldn't flee.

Surprise! No Red Sox demise! Ruined Yanks' plans... World Series prize.
Two leads, Rivera shed; Yanks lost instead, ex-kings who once led.

Defied the Yankees' pride; surprised baseball world by giving...
Payback for last year's team.... Yankees choked; misery.

Surprise! No Red Sox demise! Ruined Yanks' plans... World Series prize.
Two leads, Rivera shed; Yanks lost instead, ex-kings who once led.

Defied the Yankees' pride, surprised baseball world by giving...
Payback for last year's team.... Yankees choked, misery.
Satire about the current shortage of flu vaccine in the U.S. because the two sole manufacturers are now located in Britain and France, and the Bush admnistration's inattention bungled preparations against a domestic shortage - now proving to be a headache for the Bush campaign trying to get votes from senior citizens

We Can't Get Flu Vaccinations
(Sung to the tune of "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones)

Click HERE for MIDI music

As sung by irate senior citizens in the "blue" states:

(instrumental intro)

We can't get flu... vaccinations.
We can't get flu... vaccinations,
Though we try, and we try, and we try, and we try...
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)

Inattention by the czar...
Shortage blamed on Bush, he's facing woe.
Bush keeps selling us "War! More war!"
His inept administation,
We should fire and free the nation.
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)
Oh, no, no, no... (drum riff)
Bush will pay!
That's what we say!

We can't get flu... vaccinations.
We can't get flu... vaccinations,
Though we try, and we try, and we try, and we try...
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)

When we watched Bush on TV,
In debates, flopped 'gainst John Kerry.
Bush is lightweight as can be.
He's no leader, this man; he is such a joke.
"Fear more 'terra' threats!" said he.
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)
Oh, no, no, no...(drum riff)
Bush will pay!
That's what we say!

We can't get flu... vaccinations.
We can't get flu... vaccinations,
Though we try, and we try, and we try, and we try...
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)

Only two places in the world
Now make flu vaccine; hope we do not catch
Flu this time; hope Bush gets hurled.
Our doctors tell us, "Better come back, later when weak,
'Cause your chance of a flu shot now is bleak."
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)
Oh, no, no, no... (drum riff)
Bush will pay!
That's what we say!

We can't get no... we can't get no...
We can't get flu vaccinations.
No vaccinations... no vaccinations... no vaccinations...

(fade)

Wednesday, October 20, 2004


I Admit No Sex Harassment
(Sung to the tune of "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones)

As sung by Fox News right wing commentator Bill O'Reilly, who was sued for sexual harassment by assistant producer Andrea Mackris

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

I admit no... sex harassment!
I admit no... sex harassment!
I'll deny, and deny, and deny, and defy...
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)

I was rising as a star...
As big as Rush is on radio.
Now she's killing me; she's a whore.
Fantasized bein' on vacation;
She was my sexual inspiration.
I admit no... oh, no, no. no...
Nay, nay, nay! That's what I say.

I admit no... sex harassment!
I admit no... sex harassment!
I'll deny, and deny, and deny, and defy...
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)

Porn I watched on my TV...
Dreamed that she'd come on to tell me
How "right" sex dirt can be.
In the shower I'd stand, while she got soaked
Dance nude pirouettes for me.
I admit no... oh, no, no. no...
Nay, nay, nay! That's what I say.

I admit no... sex harassment!
I admit no... sex harassment!
I'll deny, and deny, and deny, and defy...
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)

I'm bein' chided by the world!
I'm bein' screwed by this; career's goin' splat!
And I'm cryin' because some girl
Who drove me crazy has now come back, and made me freak.
'Cause you see I'm dumb; scandal leaked.
I admit no... oh, no, no. no...
Nay, nay, nay! That's what I say.

I admit no.... (instrumental riff)
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)
I admit no... sex harassment!
No sex harassment!
No sex harassment!
No sex harassment!

(fade)

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Iraq
(Sung to the tune of "Get Back" by The Beatles)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Dubya had no plan for war; went as a loner,
And he left the world aghast.
Oil war, bombing homes and schools in Babylonia;
Yet, his polls still fading fast.

(instrumental break)

Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong.
Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong.

(instrumental break)

Things all headed downhill, 'cause Bush is a moron.
"War On Terra" (how he ran).
Failure still confounds him, despite his war drumming.
Cheney's pet, the puppet man.

Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong.
Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong.

(instrumental break)

Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong.
Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong.

(instrumental break)

(Spoken:)
Iraq's no better...
Your brother's waiting for you.
We hope to see you lose;
War plans in the shredder.
Iraq's no better.
Get on home to Crawford!

Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong...

(repeat final refrain and fade)

Monday, October 18, 2004

Flash animation: Leave It To Bush, guest starring the voice of actor Gary Busey
Satire about Faux News right wing commentator, Bill O'Reilly, who was sued for sexual harassment and nasty phone calls by an assistant producer

Sex On The Phone, O'Reilly
(Sung to the tune of "Won't You Come Home, Bill Bailey")

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Sex on the phone, O'Reilly?
Sex on the phone!
He moans she's done him wrong.
Virtual hooking; funny.
This pervert's rant:
"I'll sue her 'cause I'm strong!"

Bill does remember the painful reamings of right wing louts;
Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich sure hit home.
Bill screamed he's not to blame, and he has no shame.
O'Reilly had sex on the phone.

(repeat verses)

Friday, October 15, 2004

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

BUSHNOCCIO


CHENOCCIO
Wired for sound - yet, still not profound... Dubya as
Quasi-snowblow, the Humpback Who-Won't-Take-Blame

Monday, October 11, 2004

They don't call the ethically-challenged (former exterminator) Rep. Tom Delay (R-TX) the "Bug Man" for nothing...
Furious George - the chimp loved by right wing chumps

Inspired by Dubya's whining refrain during his pathetic debate performance against John Kerry

Work Is Hard
(Sung to the tune of "Hard, Ain't It Hard" by The Kingston Trio)

[Sorry, no MIDI music is available]

As sung by His Fraudulency, George Dubya Bush:

(instrumental intro)

Work is hard! Ain't it hard? Ain't it hard?
To think and know one and one is two!
Work is hard! Ain't it hard? Ain't it hard? Just nod.
Whatever I'm telling you is true.

John Kerry really got me pissed off!
He was squawkin' 'bout my war.
At debate time, he beat me on substance, not style.
Now I dread to debate him more.

Work is hard! Ain't it hard? Ain't it hard?
To think and know one and one is two!
Work is hard! Ain't it hard? Ain't it hard? Just nod.
Whatever I'm telling you is true.

I rule White House and wear this crown.
It's through Karl Rove that I stay around.
I'll fake and keep hidden, so you won't see.
I'll sell you some tales, so you'll vote for me.

Work is hard! Ain't it hard? Ain't it hard?
To think and know one and one is two!
Work is hard! Ain't it hard? Ain't it hard? Just nod.
Whatever I'm telling you is true.

I'm back to drinkin' and ramblin'
I don't care; tomorrow, I might go down.
This hard White House race could lead to my disgrace
And I'll need legal aces kept around.

Work is hard! Ain't it hard? Ain't it hard?
To think and know one and one is two!
Work is hard! Ain't it hard? Ain't it hard? Just nod.
Whatever I'm telling you is true.

Work is hard! Ain't it hard? Ain't it hard?
To think and know one and one is two!
Work is hard! Ain't it hard? Ain't it hard? Just nod.
Whatever I'm telling you is true.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

It has been rumored that the mysterious hump seen underneath the back of Dubya's suit during the first debate with Kerry was a listening device

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Lawn sign of the season
How does Bush run on a record of failure? Chant "9/11," "Saddam," and "Terror." Click HERE
to see the true essence of the 2004 GOP National Convention

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

"My mind's pulling a blink - I mean, a blank!"
Vote for Kerry and...
<
Bush is WHAT?
The Real Flip-Flop: Bush flips a cheat sheet, yet still flops in the first debate with John Kerry

Read more about it at AmericaBlog.com

Monday, October 04, 2004

Sunday, October 03, 2004

It's "Shrub Season" - Dubya as Elmer B. Fuddled

Visit AmericaBlog

Friday, October 01, 2004

I Cannot Win Debates, I Can't
(Sung to the tune of "I'm Henry The Eighth, I Am" by Herman's Hermits)

As sung by Dubya, desperately outmatched in his first presidential debate with John Kerry on 09/30/04:

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

I cannot win debates; I can't.
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't.
I got buried by John Kerry 'bout war
I can't parry his points, or keep score.

I must debate, though I cannot win (cannot win)
And viewers think my war is just a scam (big scam)
In debates, I stammer, cannot win...
Cannot win debates; I can't.

(Spoken:) Second verse... I get to curse!

I cannot win debates; I can't.
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't.
I got buried by John Kerry 'bout war
I can't parry his points, or keep score.

I must debate, though I cannot win (cannot win)
And viewers think my war is just a scam (big scam)
In debates, I stammer, cannot win...
Cannot win debates; I can't.

(instrumental break)

I cannot win debates; I can't.
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't.
I got buried by John Kerry 'bout war
I can't parry his points, or keep score.

I must debate, though I cannot win (cannot win)
And viewers think my war is just a scam (big scam)
In debates, I stammer, cannot win...
Cannot win debates; I can't.

(Spoken:_ Rove! Please! One more try!

Cannot win (cannot win)...
Cannot win (cannot win)...
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't
Cannot win debates, I can't.

(instrumental riff)

Nah!
So how did Duh-Buh-Ya do in duh debate?

"...How else can one describe the demeanor and behavior of Bush, as seen by 40,000,000 television viewers and heard by millions more radio listeners? Shrill. Defensive. Muddled. Angry, very angry. Repetitive. Uninformed. Outmatched. Unprepared. Hesitant. Twenty four minutes into the debate, Bush lost his temper, and spent the remaining hour and six minutes looking for all the world as though he were sucking on a particularly bitter lemon." -William Rivers Pitt, Truthout.org
Orginally written 10/7/02. pResident Bush has spent 42% of his term on vacation, much of it at his Crawford, Texas ranch. Time to send him there for a permanent vacation!

Crawford Bound
(Sung to the tune of "Homeward Bound" by Simon & Garfunkel)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Shrub's sitting on a bad situation.
People picket the way he runs the nation...
His speech - no one understands.
He knows nothing 'bout foreign lands.
His photo-ops are neatly planned
He is not the one who's in command...

Crawford bound...
Wishes he was
Crawford bound...
Home... on his ranch escaping.
Home... where the crowds aren't braying.
Home... where the Shrub's creating
Silence - lots of Z's (zzzzz)...

Everything Bush does just seems
To be a "threat" hatched by his team...
Imaginary enemies helped shut down our democracy
Through pre-arranged rogue agencies
To prop up Bush, who longs to be...

Crawford bound...
Wishes he was
Crawford bound...
Home... on his ranch escaping.
Home... where the crowds aren't braying.
Home... where the Shrub's creating
Silence - lots of Z's (zzzzz)...

The right wing chants for war again.
Saddam is blamed, and condemned...
Shrub's tough words on Iraq must be
A shield for mediocrity.
His emptiness in policy
Just means he's inept as can be...

Crawford bound...
Wishes he was
Crawford bound...
Home... on his ranch escaping.
Home... where the crowds aren't braying.
Home... where the Shrub's creating
Silence - lots of Z's (zzzzz)...
Silence - lots of Z's (zzzzz)...

(instrumental ending)
Destination: Crawford - "The BUS stops here."
Now Showing: President Evil