All I Wanna Do Is Get Saddam
(Sung to the tune of "All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow)

(As sung by pResident Dubya Bush to Attorney General John Ashcroft)

(Spoken:)
John, pour the Crisco,
And bless this country's safekeeper; this is my way...

Click for MIDI music

All I wanna do is rub out that Saddam, and I will try.
And Iran's next, if my war goes nowhere.
No evidence of weapons? I'm pRez, I say we'll kill 'em.
We'll ensure our fill of oil from Iraq, good buddy.
Since greed's plain ugly to see, we won't blunder if we're clever.
Saddam's on the run for his dear life.

And I'm thinking 'bout High Noon at mid-day,
Very far, in places where our Great Unwashed
Don't know those people in the world.
They get drunk at bars, on small tax breaks;
Dozing while I rubbed out Afghanistan.
Oh, what a hoot!

Don't deprive them of alcoholic fluids,
Or they might keep company with foes of our coup.
Hell, they're nothing like Johnny and me.

All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
And when Saddam gives up, it'll prove oil wars aren't really hard.

(brief instrumental break)

I like to stoke fear, 'cause alerts in the morning
Really helps to steal the headlines from my scandals of old.
I dread them; keep 'em far; those who fight me, you should catch.
John, just go on attack; let civil rights burn.
Drown out those protestors, and start throwing and cursing them out.
Keep watching; nip it in the bud, as we spin for my new war.

Make it snappy, because I want my war.
Scandals haunt me, close to one another.
Cannon fodder used up? Then I want lads...

All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
And when Saddam gives up, it'll prove oil wars aren't really hard.

(instrumental break)

Improvise this war of ours; the way we will fight.
Because we'll smash through the batches of old Scuds,
We will burn and we will char;
Be done very soon, 'cause

All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
And when Saddam gives up, it'll prove oil wars aren't really hard.

When Saddam gives up, it'll prove oil wars aren't really hard.

(instrumental ending)