The Groper
Satire about Arnold Schwarzenegger, California GOP candidate for Governor, who is known to have groped female actresses and talk show hosts
(Sung to the tune of "The Joker" by The Steve Miller Band)

As sung by Arnold Schwarzenegger:

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

"The Villain" cast me as dumb cowboy, ja.
Some say I'm "too anxious to love."
Sometimes I played police.
That was neat - it's the power that I love.

Chicks will talk and say I'm shady.
Say I'm doin' them wrong, doin' them wrong.
Hasta la vista, baby! No hurry...
My wife's right here, right here, right here, right here at home.

I'm a good picker, love 'em thinner.
As a lover, I'm good dinner.
Girls my amusement; they can't run.
I'm a groper, not a moper.
I'm an interloper.
I sure do like to flirt for fun.

I'm a good picker, love 'em thinner.
As a lover, I'm good dinner.
Girls my amusement; they can't run.
I'm a groper, not a moper.
I'm an interloper.
I sure do like to flirt for fun.

Woo-oo-oo-oo... Woo-oo-oo-oo...

(A pretty woman catches Arnold's eye)

She's the cutest thing that I ever did see.
If she stays in my reaches, she'll have sex with me.
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time.
This she-baby, I'm sure to show her a good time.

I'm a good picker, love 'em thinner.
As a lover, I'm good dinner.
Girls my amusement; they can't run.
I'm a groper, not a moper.
I'm an interloper.
I sure do like to flirt for fun.

I'm a good picker, love 'em thinner.
As a lover, I'm good dinner.
Girls my amusement; they can't run.
I'm a groper, not a moper.
I'm an interloper.
I sure do like to flirt for fun.

Chicks will talk and say I'm shady.
Say I've done them wrong, done them wrong.
Hasta la vista, baby! No hurry...
My wife's right here at home.

She's the cutest thing that I ever did see.
If she stays in my reaches, she'll have sex with me.
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time.
This she-baby, I'm sure to show her a good time.

I'm a good picker, love 'em thinner.
As a lover, I'm good dinner.
Girls my amusement; they can't run.
I'm a groper, not a moper.
I'm an interloper.
I sure do like to flirt for fun.

(repeat chorus and fade)