(Sung to the tune of "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones)
Click HERE for MIDI music
As sung by soon-to-be former Senator Larry "Wide Stance" Craig (R-Idaho)
(instrumental intro)
I can't get no... bathroom action.
I can't get no... bathroom action.
'Cause I tried...
Police spied...
Couldn't hide...
So I lied...
I can't get no... (guitar riff)
I can't get no... (guitar riff)
Well, I tried, but didn't get far...
To spin TV and the radio.
But the beans spilled more and more.
My story spread across the nation;
What had transpired wrecked my reputation.
I can't get no... (guitar riff)
I can't get no... (guitar riff)
No, no, no, no...
Hey, hey, hey!
I'm goin' away!
I can't get no... bathroom action.
I can't get no... bathroom action.
'Cause I tried...
Police spied...
Couldn't hide...
So I lied...
I can't get no... (guitar riff)
I can't get no... (guitar riff)
Now my story's on TV.
I don't need someone to tell me
How spiteful brownshirts can be.
'Cause I can't love a man, only women folk.
Then, that cop arrested me.
I can't get no... (guitar riff)
I can't get no... (guitar riff)
No, no, no, no...
Hey, hey, hey!
I'm goin' away!
I can't get no... bathroom action.
I can't get no... bathroom action.
'Cause I tried...
Police spied...
Couldn't hide...
So I lied...
I can't get no... (guitar riff)
I can't get no... (guitar riff)
Now my story's 'round the world.
Voters boo and hiss; now I have to scat.
My straight arrow has been curled.
It's hell, I'll... leave and never come back, 'cause it looks bleak.
My career is gone; I'm up the creek.
I can't get no... (guitar riff)
I can't get no... (guitar riff)
No, no, no, no...
Hey, hey, hey!
I'm goin' away!
I can't get no... I can't get no...
I can't get no.. bathroom action.
No bathroom action...
No bathroom action...
No bathroom action...
(fade)
