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Detested, Bush's Torturers
(Sung to the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen")

Inspired by the title of a column, "God Rest Ye Merry Torturers by W. David Jenkins

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Detested, Bush's torturers; their motives on display.
Bush played the role of "savior," while making power play.
Who'll save us all from Dubya's power, whose regime's gone astray?
Hopes are riding on impeaching Bush Boy; yeah, the Bush Boy.
Hopes are riding on impeaching Bush Boy.

Afghanistan and then Iraq, attacked, and made war-torn;
Bush hyped Hussein's da-an-ger while prison guards made porn.
Did Bush's mother care that he in New Orleans is scorned?
Hopes are riding on impeaching Bush Boy; yeah, the Bush Boy.
Hopes are riding on impeaching Bush Boy.

Goon squads just didn't bo-o-ther at whom they would take aim.
Bush was so certain that his words would work and deflect blame.
The deaths and war mayhem are scorned; Dim Son, Sir Torture's name.
Hopes are riding on impeaching Bush Boy; yeah, the Bush Boy.
Hopes are riding on impeaching Bush Boy.

Bush wants more war; his phrases: "Iran, we will erase!"
Bombs from above, the greater good; restart a new arms race.
His swollen pride and hubris; wants torture, such disgrace!
Hopes are riding on impeaching Bush Boy; yeah, the Bush Boy.
Hopes are riding on impeaching Bush Boy.

Just Forget It, I Have Made Up My Mind
(Sung to the tune of "Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind" by The Lovin' Spoonful)

Click HERE for MIDI music, sequenced by my good friend, Ron Tilden

Inspired by pResident Bush's phrase "I am the decider," defending Sec. of State Donald Rumsfeld against calls for Rummy's resignation. As sung by Emperor Dubya, The Decider, to the American public:

(instrumental intro)

Just forget it, I have made up my mind.
Rummy won't go, and you can kiss my behind.
You may call him sleazy, but Rummy's my kind.
Just forget it, I have made up my mind.

Don't you ever clash, 'cause I will decide.
Say, "Yes, Great One," by my rules, you'll abide.
I want no exchanges; your viewpoints, just hide.
I'm The Leader, I say I will decide.

Ex-generals think they're so wise; brutal to Rummy.
It just isn't fair, to call me a dummy.
Don't care what you think, we're at war with the world.
War profits swollen by the bombs that we hurled.

(Spoken: What I say goes, because I've made up my mind!)

End Times are really big; this world... will end, and I'll miss her.
Last summer, got distracted; Katrina the Twister.
Public squawks? Why bother? 'Cause everything's fine.
I say, "Protestors, go home! Hey! I've made up my mind!"

And don't forget: I'm better! I will decide!

Around The World, They Say He's Crazed
(Sung to the theme of "Around The World In 80 Days" by Bing Crosby)

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(instrumental intro)

Around the world, they're irked at you.
Dick Cheney's pawn, for war, you've gone.
They do hate W.
You did not care; war crimes show how
The crook you'd be, who didn't foresee
Your Iraq mess right now.

Your polls, once high, now crumbling down.
Just stick a fork and say "finis,"
You soon may lose your crown.
Your wars despised by all, around the world.
Bush, you'll be hounded 'til you're through.

(instrumental break)

Your polls, once high, now crumbling down.
Just stick a fork and say "finis,"
You soon may lose your crown.
Your wars despised by all, around the world.
Bush, you'll be hounded 'til you're through.

Stay The Course, Do The Same
(Sung to the tune of "A Horse With No Name" by America)

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." -Albert Einstein

With his public opinion polls plummeting to 32% support, pResident Bush still calls to "stay the course" in his disastrous failed war on Iraq. As sung by Emperor Dubya:

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(instrumental intro)

Need a jump-start; my war's turning...
Into civil war and strife.
Spin-enhanced, my words; all fu**ed up, things
In this land; my shills love kings.

I have no regrets about lies, just because
I can lie... to my crowds.
Repeating rot; make good sound bites fly
On the air; turn up the sound.

We'll win in the desert; stay the course, do the same.
We did good to throw out ol' Hussein.
In the desert, Iraqi oil we'll claim,
'Cause there ain't no stopping this war I'll sustain...
War, war, gotta have war, gotta have... more war...
War, war, gotta have war, gotta have... more war...

In a few years, Iraq gets won.
It's time; Iran will get bled.
It's the End Days, we'll rule by the gun
It's my empire, and I am the head.
I'm not sorry I told lies to get the black gold
I'm not sad Iraqis are dead.

We'll win in the desert; stay the course, do the same.
We did good to throw out ol' Hussein.
In the desert, Iraqi oil we'll claim,
'Cause there ain't no stopping this war I'll sustain...
War, war, gotta have war, gotta have... more war...
War, war, gotta have war, gotta have... more war...

(instrumental break)

After eight years, I want my monarchy
To turn into theocracy.
Right wing rants and words; no mocking kings
In command? Dick pulls my strings.

Dick Cheney is my regent, lives his life underground.
Even though he's despised, he's tough.
On Iraq's cities, with more bombs I will pound
Until insurgents say "Enough!"

We'll win in the desert; stay the course, do the same.
We did good to throw out ol' Hussein.
In the desert, Iraqi oil we'll claim,
'Cause there ain't no stopping this war I'll sustain...
War, war, gotta have war, gotta have... more war...

War, war, gotta have war, gotta have... more war...
War, war, gotta have war, gotta have... more war...
War, war, gotta have war, gotta have... more war...

(repeat final refrain and fade)

The Worst That Could Happen To Bush
(Sung to the tune of "The Worst That Could Happen" by Brooklyn Bridge)

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Bush... your polls are getting buried.
Polls are getting buried; this time there is no cure.
And this is the end... your failure, we have seen it.
Despised, you dunce, for those you've killed.
Unsafe, you've made us less secure.

Bush... Baby!
No one loathed as much as thee.
Impeachment's the best thing,
Impeachment's the best thing for you.
'Cause it's the worst that can happen... to thee.

Our... dead troops got buried.
Dead troops got buried, in secrecy, unseen.
The whole world hates you; war you had carried,
You'd known all along there was no WMD; claimed you'd seen it.

Bush... Baby!
No one loathed as much as thee.
Impeachment's the best thing,
Impeachment's the best thing for you.
'Cause it's the worst that can happen... to thee.

(Bridge:)
Bush... the voters now blame you for warmonger dreams, at home.
Bush... the voters now blame you.
A moron like you, with a mouth and a throne; crazy...

Bush... Baby!
No one loathed as much as thee.
Impeachment's the best thing,
Impeachment's the best thing for you.
'Cause it's the worst that can happen... to thee.

So Low?! They Hate Me Not
(Sung to the tune of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot")

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As sung by a disbelieving pResident George Dubya Bush,
reacting to a new CNN poll showing a record-low 32% approval rating

So low?! They hate me not!
How low can my poll numbers go?
So low?! They hate me not!
How low can my poll numbers go?

I looked at the paper, and what did I see?
How low can my poll numbers go?
And brand new scandals they're gonna blame on me!
How low can my poll numbers go?

So low?! They hate me not!
How low can my poll numbers go?
So low?! They hate me not!
How low can my poll numbers go?

If Fitzgerald gets me, boy, I'm screwed.
How low can my poll numbers go?
I got rich friends, shield me when I'm booed.
How low can my poll numbers go?

So low?! They hate me not!
How low can my poll numbers go?
So low?! They hate me not!
How low can my poll numbers go?

Polls won't go up and they still go down.
How low can my poll numbers go?
I sold my soul to wear this here crown.
How low can my poll numbers go?

So low?! They hate me not!
How low can my poll numbers go?
So low?! They hate me not!
How low can my poll numbers go?

The Torturer
(Sung to the tune of "The Wanderer" by Dion)

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As sung by George Dubya Bush, the Torturer-In-Chief

Hell, I can justify... any torture that goes down.
Because I am the Czar, and so powerful is my crown.
I'm pissed off I've hit bottom, and my low polls are to blame.
I'm bugged and I'm teased by... traitors; they're all the same.
They call me The Torturer... yeah, The Torturer...
I'll have you bound and sent around...

Yes, Al Gonzalez said "no harm" and Dick Cheney says I'm right.
Sweet Condi's my girl; she defends my right-by-might.
Iraq War tasks me, but Rummy is the best...
To tear open your shirt, put electrodes on your chest.
'Cause I'm The Torturer... yeah, The Torturer...
I'll have you bound and sent around...

Oh, hell, I didn't earn my crown.
I went through life without a care.
And I'm happy as a clown.
Rule with my two fists of iron,
And through bombs I'm raining down...

Oh, yeah, I can justify any torture that goes down.
All kinds of secret places for rendition, not found.
Investigations I'm stallin,' flags unfurled;
They can't touch me, 'cause I'm divine, made war around the world.
'Cause I'm The Torturer... yeah, The Torturer...
I'll have you bound and sent around...

Oh, yeah, I can justify any torture that goes down.
All kinds of secret places for rendition, not found.
Investigations I'm stallin,' flags unfurled;
They can't touch me, 'cause I'm divine, made war around the world.
'Cause I'm The Torturer... yeah, The Torturer...
I'll have you bound and sent around...

(repeat last verse and fade)

Thank God The Great Scoundrel's Gone
(Sung to the tune of "Thank God And Greyhound You're Gone" by Roy Clark)

Satire about indicted former House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-TX), who announced that his will retire from Congress rather than face re-election

Sorry, there is no MIDI music available

His power and fortune; DeLay squandered it all.
Tom blamed the "press liberals" for his own great fall.
His own party loathed him, 'cause his tactics estranged.
Congress gritted its teeth; knew Tom was deranged.

He was forced to leave; power-pimp of a guy.
From the House, he's leaving, but he won't tell you why.
He used fear on our nation, while abetting a con.
And all we can think of is...
Thank God the great scoundrel's gone!

Thank God the great scoundel's gone!
We didn't know much longer DeLay could go on.
Watching him take bribes so dishonestly.
Watching him break laws with impunity.
That big weasel's odor, betraying his wrong.
Thank God the great scoundrel's gone!

Thank God the great scoundel's gone!
His career behind, the fighter now has withdrawn.
Just watch DeLay cuss at his pitiful plight.
What a cruel joke, Bush polling, down, with no end in sight.
No rebound for these fools; we've been silent too long.
Thank God the great scoundel's gone!

Thank God the great scoundel's gone!

Dumbya Wants War
(Sung to the tune of "Kumbaya")

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Dumbya wants war... Dumbya!
Dumbya wants war... Dumbya!
Dumbya wants war... Dumbya!
Wants war, Dumbya!

His disastrous war... Dumbya!
His disastrous war... Dumbya!
His disastrous war... Dumbya!
Botched war, Dumbya!

Who had lied for war? Dumbya!
Who had lied for war? Dumbya!
Who had lied for war? Dumbya!
For war, Dumbya!

Who had prayed for war? Dumbya!
Who had prayed for war? Dumbya!
Who had prayed for war? Dumbya!
More war, Dumbya!

Who would bring more war? Dumbya!
Who would bring more war? Dumbya!
Who would bring more war? Dumbya!
Bomb Iran, Dumbya!

Dumbya wants war... Dumbya!
Dumbya wants war... Dumbya!
Dumbya wants war... Dumbya!
Wants war, Dumbya!

pResident Bird Brain - The End (of his reign of error) Is Near

Enjoy these Anti-Bush audio parodies, performed by David Teller:

Fifty Ways To Dump The Dubya

GOPer's Lament (Hard To Be A Republican)

From Coast to Coast, Bush Is Toast

Dick Was Booed At The Ball Game
(Sung to the tune of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame")

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Vice-President Dick Cheney threw out the ceremonial first pitch at a Washington Nationals baseball game, and was greeted by a chorus of loud boos from the crowd, which Fox News vainly tried to censor by muting the audio during the TV broadcast

Dick was booed at the ball game.
Dick was booed by the crowd.
Bush Team’s agenda has gone off track;
Iran may be the next they’ll attack.

Crowds now hoot, hoot, hoot at the Bush Team,
For failure, Dick won’t take blame.
Bush the Dunce and Dick, let’s throw out,
With their empire game.

He's Gone
(Sung to the tune of "She's Gone" by Hall & Oates)

Dedicated to former House Majority Leader, Tom DeLay (R-TX), who has quit Congress rather than run for re-election, after being indicted in a series of scandals, with more legal troubles to come

Sorry, no MIDI music is available

(instrumental intro)

Once was riding high, helped rule the nation.
Tom DeLay was tryin' to sell our country, frightfully... yeah...
He wants a drink after court's decision.
He f*cked up, you see, illegally...

He's gone! (He's gone!)
Hurrah! Hurrah!
DeLay will burn and get wasted.
He's gone! (He's gone!)
He was a devil; they've replaced him.
He's gone! (He's gone)
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Things went wrong...

Tom ignored the warnings; crook who used terror.
Propped up the Fool Bush, through his... House command.
New race? He's hasn't any hunger.
He can only flee; law's shaken this troll, totally...

He's gone! (He's gone!)
Hurrah! Hurrah!
DeLay will burn and get wasted.
He's gone! (He's gone!)
He was a devil; they've replaced him.
He's gone! (He's gone)
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Things went wrong...

(instrumental break)

Crooked; his temerity gets no pity.
Abramhoff and DeLay's cronies, through gifts, bought their way...
DeLay's great power now is just a memory.
He will never be... what he was (was), 'cause he's (he's)...

He's gone! (He's gone!)
Hurrah! Hurrah!
DeLay will burn and get wasted.
He's gone! (He's gone!)
He was a devil; they've replaced him.
He's gone! (He's gone)
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Things went wrong...

(instrumental break)

He's gone! (He's gone!)
Hurrah! Hurrah!
DeLay will burn and get wasted.
He's gone! (He's gone!)
He was a devil; they've replaced him.
He's gone! (He's gone)
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Things went wrong...

(repeat chorus and fade)

Tom Quit The Congress
(Sung to the tune of "I Shot The Sheriff" by Eric Clapton)

Dedicated to the corrupt Rep. Tom "The Hammer" DeLay (R-TX), indicted former House Majority Leader, who is resigning from Congress in order to deal with criminal indictments pursued against him for money laundering

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Tom quit the Congress, but the law won't quit 'til he's guilty.
Tom quit the Congress, but the law won't quit 'til he's guilty.

DeLay's gone from Washington.
The law has now tracked him down.
Quit Congress now in case he's found guilty
Of corruption that is so filthy.
For corruption that is so filthy.
Tom DeLay...

Tom quit the Congress... he needs lots of dough for his defense.
Tom quit the Congress... for the charges 'gainst him must be quite immense.

Tom the Hammer enforced hatefully,
Just 'cause he said so.
His main crimes were his scams and greed.
Got his thrills making his power grow.
Got his thrills making his power grow.
Tom DeLay...

Tom quit the Congress... he needs lots of dough for his defense.
Tom quit the Congress... he needs lots of dough for his defense.

His scam was "to play, you pay."
DeLay once ran the town.
Buddies and cronies, Jack Abramhoff;
Jail, as they go down.
For their plot, they will go down.
Tom DeLay...

Tom quit the Congress, but the law won't quit 'til he's guilty.
Tom quit the Congress, but the law won't quit 'til he's guilty.

He's Texas toast; law has no mercy.
A schemer is he, guilty.
Tom DeLay the Hammer once did well,
But today, the bottom has dropped out.
Yes, today, the bottom has dropped out.
Tom DeLay...

Tom quit the Congress, but the law won't quit 'til he's guilty.
Tom quit the Congress, but the law won't quit 'til he's guilty.

(repeat refrain and fade)

Andy Card
(Sung to the tune of "Hard Ain't It Hard" by The Kingston Trio)

Satire inspired by the recent resignation of Bush's Chief of Staff, Andy Card

(Sorry, no MIDI music is available)

Farewell to Card, Andy Card, Andy Card.
Who's jumped ship from sinkin' W.
Farewell to Card, Andy Card; Andy Card's facade
Won't shield Dubya Bush and all his crew.

The Bush White House is going down.
His polls keep falling to the ground.
Bush, the worst president in history;
His incompetence is now no mystery.

Farewell to Card, Andy Card, Andy Card.
Who's jumped ship from sinkin' W.
Farewell to Card, Andy Card; Andy Card's facade
Won't shield Dubya Bush and all his crew.

Since the first term, he'd served that Fool Shrub.
Bush decided to start a war.
Since then, Card has seen his boss get reviled,
More war dead, while rich screw the poor.

Farewell to Card, Andy Card, Andy Card.
Who's jumped ship from sinkin' W.
Farewell to Card, Andy Card; Andy Card's facade
Won't shield Dubya Bush and all his crew.

Now, who's left on the sinking ship?
Who's taking hold of Bush's band?
Who's gonna tell Bush what is what;
That his war failed to take Iraq's land.

Farewell to Card, Andy Card, Andy Card.
Who's jumped ship from sinkin' W.
Farewell to Card, Andy Card; Andy Card's facade
Won't shield Dubya Bush and all his crew.

Shrub's back to drinkin' and ramblin' -
His presidency comes crashing down.
'Cause there isn't a place for a smart-thinking ace
If a power-drunk fool wears the crown.

Farewell to Card, Andy Card, Andy Card.
Who's jumped ship from sinkin' W.
Farewell to Card, Andy Card; Andy Card's facade
Won't shield Dubya Bush and all his crew.

Farewell to Card, Andy Card, Andy Card.
Who's jumped ship from sinkin' W.
Farewell to Card, Andy Card; Andy Card's facade
Won't shield Dubya Bush and all his crew.