Torn My Battle Plan
(Sung to the tune of "Ramblin' Man" by The Allman Brothers)

As sung by a frustrated Sec. of Defense Don Rumsfeld, who expected an Iraq war to be a cakewalk:

Click for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Iraq has torn my battle plan.
We thought they'd be giving up, like Afghanistan.
They've left us misbelievin'.
No cakewalk like we'd planned.
Iraq has torn my battle plan.

I didn't bother with the brass' plan for this war.
I figured Shock and Awe would get things done.
My war plan's taken a back seat, but I won't discuss.
I thought in six days, we'd have won.

Iraq has torn my battle plan.
We thought they'd be giving up, like Afghanistan.
They've left us misbelievin'.
No cakewalk like we'd planned.
Iraq has torn my battle plan.

(instrumental break)

They're gonna pay, those fedayeen - I'm warnin'.
They fight with no rationality.
They're givin' us a good fight on supply lines,
Good Lord!
Civilians that we've killed, the world will see.

Iraq has torn my battle plan.
We thought they'd be giving up, like Afghanistan.
They've left us misbelievin'
No cakewalk like we'd planned.
Iraq has torn my battle plan.

Iraq has torn my battle plan.
Iraq has torn my battle plan.
Iraq has torn my battle plan.

(long instrumental solo and fade)