Wake Up, Mr. Ashcroft
(Sung to the tune of "Wake Up, Little Suzie" by The Everly Brothers)

Satire inspired by the testimony of former Deputy Attorney General James Comey, who testified before Congress that President Bush sent then White House Counsel (now Attorney General) Alberto Gonzalez and Chief of Staff Andrew Card to the hospital room of the gravely-ill Attorney General John Ashcroft, to attempt to coerce him into signing off on authorization on Bush's policy of spy on Americans without court warrants. Comey and Ashcroft both refused to sign off on the policy, but Bush bypassed them and established the illegal spying program anyway.

Click HERE for MIDI music

(As sung by Alberto Gonzalez and Andrew Card to the bed-ridden, half-conscious John Ashcroft, on March 11, 2004:)

Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft... wake up!
Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft... wake up!
Yes, you've been sound asleep.
Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft, and peep...
Just sign these papers and we'll go home, or you're in trouble deep.
Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft... Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft... well...

We don't wanna hear your drama.
We don't wanna hear 'bout law.
We don't wanna hear 'bout ending spying, nor its flaws.
Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft... wake up!
Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft... well...

Was told by Dubya: had to try again
To skirt all the law books, needed loyal men.
Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft...
Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft... or we won't go home.

(instrumental break)

Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft... wake up!
Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft... wake up!
The President's getting hot,
You won't go along with the plot.
That Comey creep plays by the book.
Wait, he's the A.G., you're not?!
Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft... Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft... well...

We don't wanna hear your drama.
We don't wanna hear 'bout law.
We don't wanna hear 'bout ending spying, nor its flaws
Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft...
Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft...
Wake up, Mr. Ashcroft...

(repeat last line and fade)