Originally written Dec. 25, 2000, when Time magazine previously chose the Pretender Bush as "Person of the Year."

Mag Sale Song
(Sung to the tune of "The Wassail Song")

Click HERE for MIDI musical accompaniment

For what he's done, we're assailing
What's on Time magazine
Because he's dumb, we're wondering
Why they find Bush so keen
The Bush Boy, W.
Hatched a coup, seized power, too
Should arrest him, and send him back to Texas,
But we hear
The Pretender is "Person of the Year."

DeLay's the Master of the House
Surprised? He helped the coup
In Florida, he killed votes
Sent rioters to help
The Bush Boy, W.
Hatched a coup, seized power, too
Should arrest him, and send him back to Texas,
But we hear
The Pretender is "Person of the Year."

A headline the world needs to read:

Satire about Bush's nominee for Attorney General, White House counsel Alberto Gonzales, wrote dubious legal memorandums justifying the torture and indefinite detention of suspects as "enemy combatants" in defiance of the Geneva Conventions, as well as claiming unlimited dictatorial powers for pResident Bush in the name of his "War on Terra"

Shady Gonzalez
(Sung to the tune of "Lady Madonna" by The Beatles)

Click HERE for MIDI musical accompaniment

(instrumental intro)

Shady Gonzales, rendered quite a feat:
Claimed it wasn't "torture" to have folks beat.
Policies for Rummy, and his pResident;
For Shrub's "War on Terra," was heaven sent.

The Far Right connives to win their court case.
Without warning, sweeping laws are done:
Rights defiled; unearned Iraq oil, bootleg.
Sleaze (how it's done).

Shady Gonzalez, failed the legal test;
Blundered and mismanaged, at Shrub's request.
(Sung over instrumental line:) Duh, duh, duh, duh....
Sleaze (how it's done).

Shady Gonzalez, trying to be head
Of the D.O.J., dismaying those who bled.

Bush's gulag goons are just extending
Torture, but the papers showed just some;
Pris'ners' plight was shocking, without mending.
Sleaze (how it's done).

Shady Gonzales, rendered quite a feat:
Claimed it wasn't "torture" to have folks beat.

A Pestilence of Greedy Men
(Sung to the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen")

Click HERE for MIDI musical accompaniment

(instrumental intro)

A pestilence of greedy men assured that Bush would stay.
The votes were hacked in Ohio this past Election Day;
Which saved the Shrub and gave him power to drop more bombs and slay.
Shrub's deciding which countries he'll destroy, which he'll destroy...
Shrub's deci-iding which countries he'll destroy.

Mideast mayhem, troop injuries, and families Bush has torn.
Put his own troops in danger; more armor, Rumsfeld scorned.
Through extra-ordina-ar-y protests, the world has warned:
Shrub's deciding which countries he'll destroy, which he'll destroy...
Shrub's deci-iding which countries he'll destroy.

Rough-shod, Bush didn't bother to find someone to blame;
For 9-11, bin Laden to Saddam Hussein, switched names.
The neo-cons had planned mayhem; Mideast control, their game.
Shrub's deciding which countries he'll destroy, which he'll destroy...
Shrub's deci-iding which countries he'll destroy.

Now Bush's hordes sing praises to Shrub and hail his name.
But not through love nor brotherhood; more war, he would enflame.
For his war crimes, the world cussed; Bush brought us lasting shame.
Shrub's deciding which countries he'll destroy, which he'll destroy...
Shrub's deci-iding which countries he'll destroy.

Here's an older version of this parody from Selection 2000: George Bush Was Crowned The President

Satire about the scandal of U.S. troops forced to fight in Iraq while riding in unarmored, unprotected Humvees, where they are sitting ducks for insurgent attacks using rockets and improvised explosive devices; desperate soldiers have installed improvised sheet metal from junkyards, while Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld pretends there isn't a problem.

Armored Humvees
(Sung to the tune of the "Armour Hot Dog Jingle")

(Sorry, no MIDI music is available)

Humvees... armored Humvees...
The kind our troops need: armored Humvees.
See what Rumsfeld did?
Shortchanged in Iraq:
Our troops blew the lid;
Junkyard armor that they hocked.
No Humvees... armored Humvees.
They're bogged... down... where... they... fight.

Canada flips the bird to Bush

Stalking Iraq, Bush's Plundered Land
(Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

Click HERE for MIDI musical accompaniment

(instrumental intro)

Scandals sting; Bush ain't listening.
Torture pain, pics are sickening.
"Continue to fight!" say Neocon Right.
Stalking Iraq, Bush's plundered land.

Spun away, Bush's new words.
The world stays... full of boo birds,
Who say the Shrub's wrong; they won't go along
Stalking Iraq, Bush's plundered land.

From the shadows, neocons made war plans.
For their ends, they helped Bush steal his crown.
Shrub's been right wing-carried; he's their "War Man."
Can barely do the job, an inept clown.

Neocons... still conspire:
More war dreams, from these liars.
The mess that they've made; their plans disarrayed.
Stalking Iraq, Bush's plundered land.

From the shadows, neocons made war plans.
For their ends, took Saddam Hussein down.
Bush had lots of fun being a show man;
But quagmire in Iraq now makes him frown.

Iraq woes, all the killing.
Our press chose to go shilling
For folly, to slay, the neocon way.
Stalking Iraq, Bush's plundered land.

Stalking Iraq, Bush's plundered land.
Stalking Iraq, Bush's plundered land.

(instrumental ending)

Our Troops Won't Be Home For The Holidays
(Sung to the tune of "There's No Place Like Home For The Holidays" by Perro Como)

Click HERE for MIDI musical accompaniment

(instrumental intro)

No, our troops won't be home for the holidays;
'Cause they're scattered to a far away war zone.
Dubya whines, cause there's no sign of an ending phase;
The insurgency says "Get out of our home!"

Bush is a man who hates democracy; war he was headin' for.
Oil war mania sold through bogus tales and lies.
In Pennsylvania, folks there voted down George Dubya and his war.
But our land's been made horrific; Bush is pseudoscientific.

No, our troops won't be home for the holidays;
'Cause they're scattered to far away war zone.
Bush is taunted as crappy in a million ways.
Bush's folly hazed; he can't leave home, sweet home.

(instrumental break)

Bush is a man who hates democracy; war he was headin' for.
Oil war mania sold through bogus tales and lies.
In Pennsylvania, folks there voted down George Dubya and his war.
But our land's been made horrific; Bush is pseudoscientific.

No, our troops won't be home for the holidays;
'Cause they're scattered to a far away war zone.
Bush is taunted as crappy in a million ways.
Bush's folly hazed; he can't leave home, sweet home.

Bush's folly hazed; he can't leave home, sweet home.

Press Is Spinning The News A Lot, 'Cause Bush Sucks
(Sung to the tune of "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas" by Bing Crosby)

Click HERE for MIDI musical accompaniment

(instrumental intro)

Press is spinning the news a lot, 'cause Bush sucks.
Everywhere he goes:
People protesting him again;
Some herded into a pen.
This killer's blamed for deaths and Iraq woe.

Press is spinning the news a lot, 'cause Bush sucks.
Boys sent off to war.
But the sh*ttiest sight to see
Is the folly that will be:
Years, Bush stole four more.

Abu Ghraib Prison guard brutes,
Crooks in corporate suits,
With a wish for Armageddon.
Scowling hate talk,
Right wing radio squawk;
Debate scope, now banished as "sin."
The world's sad; in dread, they wait.
New Bush wars start again.

Press is spinning the news a lot, 'cause Bush sucks.
Everywhere he goes,
Bush won't see just who gives him hell
(To stay in the dark is swell.)
He's heard his kind, who have no minds to show.

Press is spinning the news a lot, 'cause Bush sucks.
Spoon-fed shills take part.
As the King, Bush will make them sing:
"Bush is great - we'll kiss your ring.
He's right, in his heart."

(instrumental break)

Press is spinning the news a lot, 'cause Bush sucks.
Boys sent off to war.
But the sh*ttiest sight to see
Is the folly that will be:
Years, Bush stole four more.
Bush is vicious; wants war.

(instrumental ending)

I'm Scheming 'Gainst Those Not With Us
(Sung to the tune of "White Christmas")

Click HERE for MIDI music

As sung by Emperor Dubya, who declared "those who are not with us are against us":

I'm scheming 'gainst those not with us;
Off to Guantanamo, you'll go!
Overseein' God's mission;
Right wing positioned.
So cheer, and don't tell me "no."

I'm scheming 'gainst those not with us.
I pander to Religious Right;
Their votes helped beat Kerry.
We'll fight...
And slay all opponents with our might.

(repeat verses)

Parody written on 11/21/02

The Power of Shrub
(Sung to the tune of "The Power of Love" by Huey Lewis & The News)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

The power of Shrub is a serious thing.
For this right wing creep, appointed as king.
Right wing hawk, who belongs in a pub.
To start the healing, stop the power of Shrub.

(instrumental break)

Simpler than Simon; makes you scream.
Wrong and retarded; he's the world's bad dream.
He's a bad, mean hood; strongman of the Right.
Power of Shrub that makes him want to fight.

Lived off his money, and his name.
He's never sweated hard, nor filled his brain.
He's wrong and he's sullen, and a fool at times.
For his war, he'd waste your life.
Stop the power of Shrub.
Stop the power of Shrub.

(instrumental break)

It's time; reveal it: Bush is power mad.
How did he steal it? Weren't no hanging chad.
We will be glad when Bush has run aground.
Bush's power makes our world unsound.

Lived off his money, and his name.
He's never sweated hard, nor filled his brain.
He's wrong and he's sullen, and a fool at times.
For his war, he'd waste your life.

The only friend of Shrub is Blair.
Yeah, but Bush don't care.
He don't know what to do,
'Cept what Dick told him to.
And with a lot of help from his club,
They steal more power for Shrub.
They steal more power for Shrub.
Yeah, they steal it...

(instrumental break)

Lived off his money, and his name.
He never sweated hard, nor filled his brain.
Simpler than Simon, his dumbass appeal.
Dubya is nothing but a heel.
The heel in power; that's the power of Shrub.
Total power, that's the power of Shrub.
The heel, the power of Shrub.
The heel, the power of Shrub.
Steal the power from Shrub.

Citizens of Canada "welcome" Bush the War Criminal

Satire about bumbling National Security Advisor and Bush loyalist, Condoleeza Rice, recently nominated by Dubya to be his new Secretary of State, replacing Colin Powell.

Don't Think Rice Will Make Things Right
(Sung to the tune of "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right" by Bob Dylan)

Click HERE for MIDI musical accompaniment

(instrumental intro)

Bush power abuse, bullsh*t and blunder; lie; fake.
Truth don't matter, anyhow.
Bush power abuse, bullsh*t and blunder; lie; fake.
Right Wing won't slow; not now.

Right wing boosters crow now that Powell's gone.
Mideast war window, through Bush's pawn.
She's the reason Powell's traveling on.
Don't think Rice will make things right.

Bush power abuse, she earned while being right wing.
By Right Wing, she is owned.
Bush power abuse, she earned while being right wing.
She's on the dark side, power-stoned.

Condi wished there was something she could do or say
To make people forget whom she let get away:
Bin Laden's terrorists stalked, while Bush played.
Don't think Rice will make things right.

Bush power abuse, installing Dubya's dame pal.
Bush is never done with war.
Bush power abuse, installing Dubya's dame pal.
Rice so dear to Bush and more.

Loves Shrub's thinking and blundering,
Talking, bears his load.
Condi loves the Moron, Pop's child, who sold
Lies for war to start, now Iraq's a hell hole.
Don't think Rice will make things right.

Bush stalks the world with wrong, loathsome, road rage.
Loyalty-bound, Rice won't tell.
She'll tell lies; no good on world stage.
World will say "Go to hell!"

Condi's saying Bush treated her most kind.
She'll have to do better as Bush's mind.
Iraqi lives wasted in this vicious time.
But don't think Rice will make things right.

Good riddance to the most partisan and inept U.S. Attorney General in American history, John Ashcroft (who once lost his Senate seat in 2000 to a dead man), who recently resigned from the Bush Administration.

Thank God the Great Scoundrel's Gone
(Sung to the tune of "Thank God and Greyhound You're Gone" by Roy Clark)

(Sorry, no MIDI music is available)

He had such good fortune, after he'd lost it all;
Was no longer senator, and then Bush called.
Made A.G. by W, and the Dope said, "Please change...
Certain laws, take out teeth, and I will not complain."

Now Ashcroft had served his four years; it's goodbye.
He tells us he's leavin', but he won't say just why.
Bush's administration hoped that John's stayin' on.
But all we can think of is:
"Thank God the great scoundrel's gone!"

Thank God the great scoundrel's gone!
We didn't know how much longer we could go on.
Watched him reject Bill of Rights sleazily.
Holding suspects incognito, did he.
No more leading prayers while singing his song.
Thank God the great scoundrel's gone!

Thank God the great scoundrel's gone!
The light of justice got brighter when John moved on.
Nude statues and busts, once a beautiful sight,
Wrapped in velvet, covered up; by Ashcroft, called "blight."
So let's pound that old fool, for we've been silent too long:
Thank God the great scoundrel's gone!

Bush laughably claimed a "mandate" in 2000, when 5 members of the Supreme Court stopped the Florida vote recount and appointed him president. Is it surprising, then, that after eking out the narrowest margin of election victory since Woodrow Wilson, and having a record number of Americans (51 million) vote AGAINST him, that Bush again claims a "mandate" for his neo-con/ultra-right wing policies?

Inspired by Jess Cully, a big fan from Great Britain...

No Mandate
(Sung to the tune of "Mandy" by Barry Manilow)

Click HERE for MIDI musical accompaniment

(instrumental introduction)

This November breathed new life
In the Clown and Dick, his vice.
Shadowy new plans; new Mideast war window.
Lyin' from the Right.
The Right Wing's just

Ignoring what all others say.
(Crabby people have their way.)
Cooking up their lies; war-based ephemery.
Their coup's now realized.
Such crap they now claim; they've

No mandate...
To kill, maim, and enslave, while taking
Our own rights here away.
No mandate...
To dismiss allies, drop bombs, while slaking
Corporate greed all the way.
No mandate!

(short instrumental break)

They're standing, waiting for End Time.
They squawk away; think Shrub is fine.
Fu**ed up is our world; Iraq kills climbing.
Such weirdness of the mind, that Shrub is defining.

No mandate...
To kill, maim, and enslave, while taking
Our own rights here away.
No mandate...
To dismiss allies, drop bombs, while slaking
Corporate greed all the way.
No mandate!

(instrumental break)

War's the Right Wing's dream.
Troop families mourning.
Halliburton sleaze.
War pain appalling...

No mandate...
To kill, maim, and enslave, while taking
Our own rights here away.
No mandate...
To dismiss allies, drop bombs, while slaking
Corporate greed all the way.
No mandate!

No mandate...
To kill, maim, and enslave, while taking
Our own rights here away.
No mandate...
To dismiss allies, drop bombs, while slaking...

Corporate greed, too!

(instrumental fade)

The Boot Newt Sing Along Page moves to new host at http://bootnewt.hostingzero.com
(The new Hostingzero.com URL will be the main site mirror, with a much greater web traffic capacity. The Tripod address will no longer be updated, as of November 25. Thanks for your patience.)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Especially to the turkey in the White House

I'm Not A Fraud
(Sung to the tune of "I'm Not In Love" by 10cc)

Click HERE for MIDI music accompaniment

As sung by His Fraudulency, Dubya Bush, to 51 million Americans who voted against him:

(instrumental intro)

I'm not a fraud.
But I don't get it:
The Iraq killing phase has not come through.
So just, my cause...
Troops; call 'em up!
Don't think I'm wrong;
Don't think mistakes were made.
I'm not a fraud... no, no...
Got no flaws.

Don't want to see you...
Protest again.
Protests don't mean they mean that much to me.
My cops will stall you.
Don't make a fuss.
My right wing friends have clout; it's you we'll bust.
I'm not a fraud... no, no...
Got no flaws.

(instrumental break)

(Spoken by Karl Rove over instrumental break:)
Make noise, more lies...
Make noise, more lies...
Make noise, more lies...
Make noise, more lies...
Make noise, more lies...
Make noise, more lies...
Make noise, more lies...

Coup... will stay a long time for me...
Coup... will stay a long time...
Coup... will stay a long time for me...
Coup... will stay a long time...

I'm not a fraud.
But I don't get it:
The Iraq killing phase has not come through.
So just, my cause...
Troops; call 'em up!
Don't think I'm wrong;
Don't think mistakes were made.
I'm not a fraud...
I'm not a fraud...

(fade)

(Election) Night of the Brain Dead

The Return of Bushnocchio

Now affirmed by 51 million voters

Satire about yet another Bush scandal just before Election Day: more than 380 tons of high explosives stolen from the Al Qa Qaa Special Weapons Facility during the Bush invasion of Iraq, falling into the hands of thieves and terrorists

Al Qa Qaa
(Sung to the tune of "Elvira" by The Oak Ridge Boys)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Al Qa Qaa... Al Qa Qaa...
Al Qa Qaa... Al Qa Qaa...
Al Qa Qaa... Al Qa Qaa...
Bush called a liar... 'bout Al Qa Qaa...

Lies 'bout 9/11; tripped 'gainst Kerry; whines.
The world has had enough fakes, like Dubya's lines.
Bush and Rummy squealin'... before election time.
380 tons, Al Qa Qaa's crime.

Bush hand-wringing...
Al Qa Qaa... Al Qa Qaa...
Bush called a liar... 'bout Al Qa Qaa...

Listen up! (Boot Dubya, boot Dubya, boot Dubya, now, now!)
Listen up! (Boot Dubya, boot Dubya, boot Dubya, now, now!)
Pull vote levers - he'll pay!

Reports from Iraq theater: how explosives got away.
Now Shrub can't deliver... all the things he planned.
Bushies now jump and holler... 'cause Bush slaves aren't exactly scholars.
Shrub's gonna curse and whine and eat war plans.

Bush hand-wringing...
Al Qa Qaa... Al Qa Qaa...
Bush called a liar... 'bout Al Qa Qaa...
Listen up! (Boot Dubya, boot Dubya, boot Dubya, now, now!)
Listen up! (Boot Dubya, boot Dubya, boot Dubya, now, now!)
Pull vote levers - he'll pay!

Al Qa Qaa... Al Qa Qaa...
Bush called a liar... 'bout Al Qa Qaa...
Listen up! (Boot Dubya, boot Dubya, boot Dubya, now, now!)
Listen up! (Boot Dubya, boot Dubya, boot Dubya, now, now!)
Pull vote levers - he'll pay!

Let's Give Hell To W
(Sung to the tune of "If I Fell" by The Beatles)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Let's give hell to W;
At the polls, tell him he's through.
Iraq is... plundered land.
Bush the tin horn went to war.
Weapons found? No - Shrub is sore.
War lust; oil war planned.

We will give the boot... to you.
We all are sure that John Kerry's smart.
Not you... the Shrub, you dictator.

Lost our trust in you... you sleaze.
Don't run and hide.
We so loathe you, 'cause... you seized
Your oil prize; murder...
Condoned torture, what a stain.
You lied; you're not satisfied 'cause war's... in your brain.

Bush the Dope's regime... should die.
We'd love to shove you.
And so we... will try.
Just one term and not two.

Let's give hell to W...

(instrumental ending)

Dubya's disastrously inept performances in three debates with John Kerry also fueled rumours about the mysterious rectangular-shaped lump (radio unit?) clearly visible underneath his $2000 suit, giving 60 million viewers reasons to have Bush fired on November 2, 2004.

Wired
(Sung to the tune of "Fire" by The Pointer Sisters)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Debating skills, sub-par...
On Shrub's back: a radio?
Debate wasn't close;
The polls said so.
Shrub said, "I don't like it...
When folks call me a liar!"
That static hiss?
Shru-ub's... wired!

So far right...
No brains in his dome.
Lies, all he had to say.
Bush started war all alone.
We say, "Bush, we loathe you,
'Cause we know you're a liar."
Debate points missed...
Shru-ub's... wired!

(instrumental break)

Bush went to war coldly, right from the start.
For tripped-out Right: Iraq, to tear it apart.
Bush swerves, now slumpin', actin' so uncouth.
We'll dismiss him, in turn, at the polling booth...

More scandals blow, just see him sweat.
Hasn't caught Osama.
Vote 'gainst Cheney's pet.
The Shrub, we won't rehire.
Bush won't be missed...
He'll be... fired!

Fired!
Fired!
Fired!

Shrub's Not A Sheriff
(Sung to the tune of "I Shot The Sheriff" by Eric Clapton)

Click HERE to play the MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?
Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?

Planes inbound brought targets down;
Bush acted like a clown.
He said, "Let's get bin Laden; he's guilty."
Thousands killed without regret (can't see).
Thousands killed without regret (can't see).
Bush slays...

Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?
Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?

Dubya Bush is too crazed to see...
Just what he doesn't know.
Every time press reports misdeeds,
Rove said, "Kill it before it shows."
Rove said, "Kill it before it shows."
He'll pay...

Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?
Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?

"Freedom in Iraq," Shrub's way,
Comes from bombs dropping down.
Where's bin Laden? Don't ask "Sheriff" George Clown;
Claiming his loot and crown.
Bush's plot: to hock his crown.
He'll pay...

Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?
Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?

PATRIOT Act has made us less free.
Vote out G. Dubya B.
Election Day, this f**k-up's going to hell.
Yes, that day, his bottom will drop out.
Yes, he'll pay...

Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?
Shrub's not a sheriff... let bin Laden walk; inept, you see?

(repeat refrain and fade)

Osama's Election Editorial
"We never thought that the high commander of the U.S. armies would leave 50,000 of his citizens in both towers to face the horrors alone," bin Laden said. "It appeared to him that a little girl's talk about her goat and its butting was more important than the planes and their butting of the skyscrapers. That gave us three times the required time to carry out the operations, thank God."

Written originally April 8, 2001

Still The Dunce
(Sung to the tune of "Still The One" by Orleans)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Back last November, you caused mayhem.
Supreme Court... then installed you by strategem.
But we want you to know... after four more years,
You're still the one the crowds will hiss at, to your ears.

You're still the dunce, with no brains in your head.
Still the dunce - and right-wing fed.
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.

You don't have an ace in any way.
Your advisors are retreads from yesterday.
But who's to blame?
You just wanted to show (wanted to show)
How far the right wing could push and not let go.

You're still the dunce - if we could only laugh.
Still the dunce - Bush Lite (only half).
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.

You're still the dunce, who does things wrong.
Still the dunce, you have to tag along.
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.
Yes, you are...

(instrumental break)

(Bridge:)
"Changing the Shrub" is getting old.
Right wing bought him, told him what to do.

You're still the dunce - the Shrub ain't too much.
Still the dunce - with a brain filled with fluff.
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.

You're still the dunce - who protects the rich.
Still the dunce - whom the Right must pitch.
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.

You... are... still the dunce - who is a lout.
Still the dunce - that we scream about.
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.

You're still the dunce, yeah... still the dunce...
You're just Poppy's son, but you're still the dunce.

President drops 'Still the One'
October 30, 2004
BY DEVLIN BARRETT, Chicago Sun-Times

WASHINGTON -- The Bush campaign abruptly stopped using the 1970s hit ''Still the One'' at campaign rallies Friday after the songwriter, no fan of the president, claimed the Republicans never got permission.

John Hall, a former Democratic county legislator in upstate New York, co-wrote the song and recorded it with his band Orleans in 1976. He complained Friday morning.

Upon learning it had been pulled, Hall said, ''It's obviously attractive as a slogan, but this election should be about content and facts.''

This story also posted at Billboard.com

Ged Rid of Dunce (And Fast)
(Sung to the tune of "Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

"Things aren't working in Iraq!" say the Right.
Bush's rise compelled war theory slight.
Thought the conquest of Iraq, a plan so wise.
Now suddenly, Bush fears demise.

Could fall so fast (get rid of Dunce, and fast)
Vote 'gainst his past (the Bush regime won't last)
Vote 'gainst his past (expelled by votes you'll cast)
Vote 'gainst his past (get rid of Dunce, and fast)

Made war laboratory of the Middle East;
Hatched in corporate bedrooms was their empire feast.
Bush fools all claimed "there's a map with a road."
See, Dick's pet, a dolt, just does what he's told.

Could fall so fast (get rid of Dunce, and fast)
Vote 'gainst his past (the Bush regime won't last)
Vote 'gainst his past (expelled by votes you'll cast)
Vote 'gainst his past (get rid of Dunce, and fast)

Bush zombies just love Dim Son.
Their party just spat and spun.
Who should be booted? Bush clan.
Dubya's time is done.

Obscene and shocking, through press digging, they found
Prisoners in chains, attacked by braying hounds.
The judgment-hangers in Iraq now connive
To soon draft more troops, so Bush can survive.

Could fall so fast (get rid of Dunce, and fast)
Vote 'gainst his past (the Bush regime won't last)
Vote 'gainst his past (expelled by votes you'll cast)
Vote 'gainst his past (get rid of Dunce, and fast)

Pouting so often, Shrub's voice did ring.
Seams in his bubble popped this faux king.
He's loathed, let's rid (he won't be missed);
He dreads: whatever happens, his plans we will resist.

Could fall so fast (get rid of Dunce, and fast)
Vote 'gainst his past (the Bush regime won't last)
Vote 'gainst his past (expelled by votes you'll cast)
Vote 'gainst his past (get rid of Dunce, and fast)

What made this king cruel: how they carved up the land
Bush the Monster planned to invade Iraqi sand.
He's unforgiving, let's smash his damned coup.
Troops blood-let for his war; back to Crawford, he's through!

He'll fall so fast (get rid of Dunce, and fast)
Vote 'gainst his past (the Bush regime won't last)
Vote 'gainst his past (expelled by votes you'll cast)
Vote 'gainst his past (get rid of Dunce, and fast)

(repeat final chorus and fade)

My ode to the fickle Frankenstein monster of public support - originally written 10/31/01

Dubya Bash
(Sung to the tune of "Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt Kickers)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Bush was waking from his nap late one night,
From a bad dream, yelled,
And screamed with fright.
Dreamt his polls had all gone bad,
And failed to rise.
That folks turned on him, then realized...
(And now they bash)
They did the Dubya bash.
(The Dubya Bash)
Support has turned to ash.
(And now they bash)
It was gone in a flash.
(He's in the trash)
They did the Dubya bash.


From the lobbyists came the cash that greased
All the legal bedlam of their empire feast.
New tools for mining their new mother lodes:
Weak pollution laws, and lower tax codes.

(And now they bash)
They did the Dubya bash.
(The Dubya Bash)
Support has turned to ash.
(And now they bash)
It was gone in a flash.
(He's in the trash)
They did the Dubya bash.

Their lobbyists were having fun.
Republicans have Dim Son.
Their new laws now protect 'gainst
Any wrong that they've done!

His schemes were quite shocking; vote-rigging was found.
Lacking in brains, his policies unsound.
Big Oil hangers-on now all thrive
They help focus Bush on his schuck-and-jive.

(And now they bash)
They did the Dubya bash.
(The Dubya Bash)
Support has turned to ash.
(And now they bash)
It was gone in a flash.
(He's in the trash)
They did the Dubya bash.

Out from his office, Shrub's voice did ring
Always in trouble is this faux king
He can't get rid of opposition and
Whatever happens, Dick Cheney will get pissed.

(And now they bash)
They did the Dubya bash.
(The Dubya Bash)
Support has turned to ash.
(And now they bash)
It was gone in a flash.
(He's in the trash)
They did the Dubya bash.

Now fate can be cruel, and despite what Bush planned,
For George Dubya's bashed, and still can't understand
Folks aren't forgiving, for Bush Number 2
Really lost to Al Gore.
(Like your dad, they'll reject you!)

(And now they bash)
They did the Dubya bash.
(The Dubya Bash)
Support has turned to ash.
(And now they bash)
It was gone in a flash.
(He's in the trash)
They did the Dubya bash.

(repeat and fade)

MONSTER SLASH

Bobby "Boris" Pickett re-records a new anti-Bush version of "Monster Mash"...

(Sponsored by the Campaign to Protect America’s Lands (CPAL) and Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund)

Click HERE to see the Flash animation

Click HERE to download the MP3 audio

We were hiking in the forest late one night
When our eyes beheld an eerie sight
Our president appeared and began to frown
Then he and his friends cut the forest down.

(He did the slash)
They did the forest slash
(He did the slash)
It was brutally brash
(he did the slash)
Public opinion was mashed
(he did the slash)
They did it for the cash

The lobbyists were having fun,
The horror party had just begun
The guests include big timber, big oil,
Mining magnates and their sons.

These visions haunt me and fill me with disgust
If we don’t stop them our environment will be lost
So come on now and join me; I’m glad to show you how;
Tell our president to save our forests now.”

Originally posted June 23, 2003...

Won't You Shut Up, O'Reilly
Dedicated to Faux (Fox) News right wing loudmouth Bill O'Reilly
(Sung to the tune of "Won't You Come Home, Bill Bailey")

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Won't you shut up, O'Reilly?
Won't you shut up?
You and your right wing throng.
You defend crooks with money, this pResident;
As weak are crushed by strong.

Dissemble every evenin'.
You stew and shout.
You bluster when you're cut up.
Yeah, we know that's your aim:
Liberals to blame.
O'Reilly, won't you please shut up?

(repeat verses twice then end with...)

O'Reilly, won't you please... just shut up?

The New York Yankees choked in epic fashion, losing in 7 games to the Boston Red Sox in the 2004 ALCS after being one inning away from a 4 game sweep

Yanks Started To Choke
(Sung to the tune of "I Started A Joke" by The Bee Gees)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Yanks started to choke, after Game 4, were dying.
But they just didn't see... what a choke it would be... oh-oh no...

Yanks had gotten by... with very thin starter staffing.
But the Red Sox's team... wouldn't choke, wouldn't flee.

Surprise! No Red Sox demise! Ruined Yanks' plans... World Series prize.
Two leads, Rivera shed; Yanks lost instead, ex-kings who once led.

Defied the Yankees' pride; surprised baseball world by giving...
Payback for last year's team.... Yankees choked; misery.

Surprise! No Red Sox demise! Ruined Yanks' plans... World Series prize.
Two leads, Rivera shed; Yanks lost instead, ex-kings who once led.

Defied the Yankees' pride, surprised baseball world by giving...
Payback for last year's team.... Yankees choked, misery.

Satire about the current shortage of flu vaccine in the U.S. because the two sole manufacturers are now located in Britain and France, and the Bush admnistration's inattention bungled preparations against a domestic shortage - now proving to be a headache for the Bush campaign trying to get votes from senior citizens

We Can't Get Flu Vaccinations
(Sung to the tune of "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones)

Click HERE for MIDI music

As sung by irate senior citizens in the "blue" states:

(instrumental intro)

We can't get flu... vaccinations.
We can't get flu... vaccinations,
Though we try, and we try, and we try, and we try...
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)

Inattention by the czar...
Shortage blamed on Bush, he's facing woe.
Bush keeps selling us "War! More war!"
His inept administation,
We should fire and free the nation.
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)
Oh, no, no, no... (drum riff)
Bush will pay!
That's what we say!

We can't get flu... vaccinations.
We can't get flu... vaccinations,
Though we try, and we try, and we try, and we try...
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)

When we watched Bush on TV,
In debates, flopped 'gainst John Kerry.
Bush is lightweight as can be.
He's no leader, this man; he is such a joke.
"Fear more 'terra' threats!" said he.
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)
Oh, no, no, no...(drum riff)
Bush will pay!
That's what we say!

We can't get flu... vaccinations.
We can't get flu... vaccinations,
Though we try, and we try, and we try, and we try...
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)

Only two places in the world
Now make flu vaccine; hope we do not catch
Flu this time; hope Bush gets hurled.
Our doctors tell us, "Better come back, later when weak,
'Cause your chance of a flu shot now is bleak."
We can't get no... (instrumental riff)
Oh, no, no, no... (drum riff)
Bush will pay!
That's what we say!

We can't get no... we can't get no...
We can't get flu vaccinations.
No vaccinations... no vaccinations... no vaccinations...

(fade)

I Admit No Sex Harassment
(Sung to the tune of "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones)

As sung by Fox News right wing commentator Bill O'Reilly, who was sued for sexual harassment by assistant producer Andrea Mackris

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

I admit no... sex harassment!
I admit no... sex harassment!
I'll deny, and deny, and deny, and defy...
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)

I was rising as a star...
As big as Rush is on radio.
Now she's killing me; she's a whore.
Fantasized bein' on vacation;
She was my sexual inspiration.
I admit no... oh, no, no. no...
Nay, nay, nay! That's what I say.

I admit no... sex harassment!
I admit no... sex harassment!
I'll deny, and deny, and deny, and defy...
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)

Porn I watched on my TV...
Dreamed that she'd come on to tell me
How "right" sex dirt can be.
In the shower I'd stand, while she got soaked
Dance nude pirouettes for me.
I admit no... oh, no, no. no...
Nay, nay, nay! That's what I say.

I admit no... sex harassment!
I admit no... sex harassment!
I'll deny, and deny, and deny, and defy...
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)

I'm bein' chided by the world!
I'm bein' screwed by this; career's goin' splat!
And I'm cryin' because some girl
Who drove me crazy has now come back, and made me freak.
'Cause you see I'm dumb; scandal leaked.
I admit no... oh, no, no. no...
Nay, nay, nay! That's what I say.

I admit no.... (instrumental riff)
I admit no.... (instrumental riff)
I admit no... sex harassment!
No sex harassment!
No sex harassment!
No sex harassment!

(fade)

Iraq
(Sung to the tune of "Get Back" by The Beatles)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Dubya had no plan for war; went as a loner,
And he left the world aghast.
Oil war, bombing homes and schools in Babylonia;
Yet, his polls still fading fast.

(instrumental break)

Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong.
Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong.

(instrumental break)

Things all headed downhill, 'cause Bush is a moron.
"War On Terra" (how he ran).
Failure still confounds him, despite his war drumming.
Cheney's pet, the puppet man.

Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong.
Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong.

(instrumental break)

Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong.
Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong.

(instrumental break)

(Spoken:)
Iraq's no better...
Your brother's waiting for you.
We hope to see you lose;
War plans in the shredder.
Iraq's no better.
Get on home to Crawford!

Iraq... Iraq... Iraq is where his war went wrong...

(repeat final refrain and fade)

Flash animation: Leave It To Bush, guest starring the voice of actor Gary Busey

Satire about Faux News right wing commentator, Bill O'Reilly, who was sued for sexual harassment and nasty phone calls by an assistant producer

Sex On The Phone, O'Reilly
(Sung to the tune of "Won't You Come Home, Bill Bailey")

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Sex on the phone, O'Reilly?
Sex on the phone!
He moans she's done him wrong.
Virtual hooking; funny.
This pervert's rant:
"I'll sue her 'cause I'm strong!"

Bill does remember the painful reamings of right wing louts;
Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich sure hit home.
Bill screamed he's not to blame, and he has no shame.
O'Reilly had sex on the phone.

(repeat verses)

Dubya, The Lyin' King

BUSHNOCCIO


CHENOCCIO

Wired for sound - yet, still not profound... Dubya as
Quasi-snowblow, the Humpback Who-Won't-Take-Blame

They don't call the ethically-challenged (former exterminator) Rep. Tom Delay (R-TX) the "Bug Man" for nothing...

Furious George - the chimp loved by right wing chumps