Headlines We'd Like To See

Good Riddance, Dubya! Go back to your hidey hole in Texas!

Goodbye To Shrub
(Sung to the tune of "Goodbye To Love" by The Carpenters)

Good riddance to the Failure-In-Chief and his disastrous 8-year Reign Of Error

Click HERE for MIDI music

We say goodbye to Shrub!
History won't spare him; truth, he can't deny.
Time and time again, this dunce named Shrub expressed defiance.
World loathes the Shrub and all his stupid bullsh*t.
His right dreams, the culprit.

Dubya Bush's time's up; he's unwanted and alone.
He always took the sleazy way; his pestilence has grown.
We say goodbye to Shrub!
Brought the world sorrow like a Frankenstein.
Rampant crime, abuse, and making enemies
Durin' his time, his endless errors and deceivin'
Led to his wars; something he's despised for.

Eight long years of Bush's lurching finally reached an end.
Looniness and empty slogans, mistakes he can't mend.
It's his way; the Shrub is rotten
As are his Republicans...

(guitar solo)

Bush despised as Fuhrer; it's no mystery at all.
He should be convicted; cheer misfortune at his fall.
Try him for war crimes or he won't see what he's done wrong.
Impeach now: Bush and his throng.

We say goodbye to Shrub...
We say goodbye to Shrub...

(guitar solo and fade)

Lame Duck Bush Is A "Shoe-In" For Most Hated Person In Iraq

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/16/world/middleeast/16shoe.html?em



President Bush, on a surprise trip to Iraq and Afghanistan, got a taste of dissent at a Baghdad press event Sunday when an Iraqi journalist threw shoes at him, forcing him to duck.

Click HERE for the video.

Click HERE to play the game!

Crawford Bound


Written originally on October 17, 2002

Crawford Bound
(Sung to the tune of "Homeward Bound" by Simon & Garfunkel)

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Shrub's sitting on a bad situation.
People picket the way he runs the nation...
His speech - no one understands.
He knows nothing 'bout foreign lands.
His photo-ops are neatly planned
He is not the one who's in command...
Crawford bound...
Wishes he was
Crawford bound...
Home... on his ranch escaping.
Home... where the crowds aren't braying.
Home... where the Shrub's creating
Silence - lots of Z's (zzzzz)...

Everything Bush does just seems
To be a "threat" hatched by his team...
Imaginary enemies helped shut down our democracy
Through pre-arranged rogue agencies
To prop up Bush, who longs to be...

Crawford bound...
Wishes he was
Crawford bound...
Home... on his ranch escaping.
Home... where the crowds aren't braying.
Home... where the Shrub's creating
Silence - lots of Z's (zzzzz)...

The right wing chants for war again.
Saddam is blamed, and condemned...
Shrub's tough words on Iraq must be
A shield for mediocrity.
His emptiness in policy
Just means he's inept as can be...

Crawford bound...
Wishes he was
Crawford bound...
Home... on his ranch escaping.
Home... where the crowds aren't braying.
Home... where the Shrub's creating
Silence - lots of Z's (zzzzz)...
Silence - lots of Z's (zzzzz)...

(instrumental ending)

After the Democratic landslide, the Republicans are the butt of jokes

Nay, Sa-rah, Sa-rah
(Sung to the tune of "Que Sera Sera" by Doris Day)

Dedicated to failed, utterly unqualified Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin, who, after losing in a landslide, publicly persists in retaining her delusion that she may someday win the presidency of the United States for the moribund Republican Party

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Wanted our trust to run the world;
This hockey mother ran for V.P.
Thought she was witty;
"Folksy," her pitch.
Her side lost miserably.

Nay, Sa-rah, Sa-rah...
You never will be V.P.
The voters did not agree.
Nay, Sa-rah, Sa-rah...

Though she messed up, she is still loved;
Her base's sweetheart - she'll be their head.
Losses were painful Election Day.
Most of the voters said:

Nay, Sa-rah, Sa-rah...
You'll never be our V.P.
The voters did not agree.
Nay, Sa-rah, Sa-rah...

Now she just rambles on her own.
Public, she bothers: "Please look at me!"
"President Palin," her fans now pitch.
End of the G.O.P.

Nay, Sa-rah, Sa-rah...
You never will be V.P.
The voters did not agree.
Nay, Sa-rah, Sa-rah...

Nay, Sa-rah, Sa-rah...
Nay, Sa-rah, Sa-rah!

Yes, the GOP is finished


... and so is the Reagan Revolution

Gov. Palin retreats to Alaska

Gov. Palin prank called, thinking it is President Sarkozy of France

Click HERE to listen to the recorded 7-minute phone call from The Masked Avengers, comedians from Montreal.

TRANSCRIPT

A transcript of a prank phone call between Quebec comedy duo "The Masked Avengers" and Alaska governor and Republican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin:

SARAH PALIN: This is Sarah.

MASKED AVENGERS: Ah, yeah, Gov. Palin.

PALIN: Hello.

AVENGERS: Just hold on for President Sarkozy, one moment.

PALIN: Oh, it's not him yet, they're saying. I always do that.

AVENGERS: Yes, hello, Gov. Palin.

PALIN: Hello, this is Sarah, how are you?

AVENGERS: Fine, and you? This is Nicolas Sarkozy speaking, how are you?

PALIN: Oh, it's so good to hear you. Thank you for calling us.

AVENGERS: Oh, it's a pleasure.

PALIN: Thank you sir, we have such great respect for you, John McCain and I. We love you and thank you for taking a few minutes to talk to me.

AVENGERS: I follow your campaigns closely with my special American adviser Johnny Hallyday, you know?

PALIN: Yes, good.

AVENGERS: Excellent. Are you confident?

PALIN: Very confident and we're thankful that polls are showing that the race is tightening and...

AVENGERS: Well I know very well that the campaign can be exhausting. How do you feel right now, my dear?

PALIN: I feel so good. I feel like we're in a marathon and at the very end of the marathon you get your second wind and you plow to the finish.

AVENGERS: You see, I got elected in France because I'm real and you seem to be someone who's real, as well.

PALIN: Yes, yeah. Nico, we so appreciate this opportunity.

AVENGERS: You know I see you as a president one day, too.

PALIN: Maybe in eight years.

AVENGERS: Well, I hope for you. You know, we have a lot in common because personally one of my favourite activities is to hunt, too.

PALIN: Oh, very good. We should go hunting together.

AVENGERS: Exactly, we could try go hunting by helicopter like you did. I never did that. Like we say in French, on pourrait tuer des bebe phoque s, aussi [translation: we can kill baby seals also].

PALIN: Well, I think we could have a lot of fun together while we're getting work done. We can kill two birds with one stone that way.

AVENGERS: I just love killing those animals. Mmm, mmm, take away life, that is so fun. I'd really love to go, so long as we don't bring along Vice-President Cheney.

PALIN: No, I'll be a careful shot, yes.

AVENGERS: Yes, you know we have a lot in common also, because except from my house, I can see Belgium. That's kind of less interesting than you.

PALIN: Well, see, we're right next door to different countries that we all need to be working with, yes.

AVENGERS: Some people said in the last days and I thought that was mean that you weren't experienced enough in foreign relations and you know that's completely false. That's the thing that I said to my great friend, the prime minister of Canada, Stef Carse. [Palin doesn't seem to know that the Prime Minister of Canada is Stephen Harper]

PALIN: Well, he's doing fine, too, and yeah, when you come into a position underestimated it gives you an opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder.

AVENGERS: I was wondering because you are so next to him, one of my good friends, the prime minister of Quebec, Mr. Richard Z. Sirois, have you met him recently? Did he come to one of your rallies?

PALIN: I haven't seen him at one of the rallies, but it's been great working with the Canadian officials. I know as governor we have a great co-operative effort there as we work on all of our resource-development projects. You know, I look forward to working with you and getting to meet you personally and your beautiful wife. Oh my goodness, you've added a lot of energy to your country with that beautiful family of yours.

AVENGERS: Thank you very much. You know my wife Carla would love to meet you, even though you know she was a bit jealous that I was supposed to speak to you today.

PALIN: Well, give her a big hug for me.

AVENGERS: You know my wife is a popular singer and a former top model and she's so hot in bed. She even wrote a song for you.

PALIN: Oh my goodness, I didn't know that.

AVENGERS: Yes, in French it's called De Rouge a levre sur un cochon [translation: lipstick on a pig], or if you prefer in English, Joe the Plumber...it's his life, Joe the Plumber.

PALIN: Maybe she understands some of the unfair criticism, but I bet you she is such a hard worker, too, and she realizes you just plow through that criticism.

AVENGERS: I just want to be sure. That phenomenon Joe the Plumber. That's not your husband, right?

PALIN: That's not my husband but he's a normal American who just works hard and doesn't want government to take his money.

AVENGERS: Yes, yes, I understand we have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France. It's called Marcel, the guy with bread under his armpit.

PALIN: Right, that's what it's all about, the middle class and government needing to work for them. You're a very good example for us here.

AVENGERS: I see a bit about NBC, even Fox News wasn't an ally as much as usual.

PALIN: Yeah, that's what we're up against.

AVENGERS: Gov. Palin, I love the documentary they made on your life. You know Hustler's "Nailin' Paylin?" [Clueless Gov. Palin does not recognize that "President Sarkozy" is talking about a porno movie parody]

PALIN: Ohh, good, thank you, yes.

AVENGERS: That was really "edgy."

PALIN: Well, good.

AVENGERS: I really loved you and I must say something also, governor, you've been pranked by the Masked Avengers. We are two comedians from Montreal.

PALIN: Ohhh... have we been pranked?! And what radio station is this?

AVENGERS: CKOI in Montreal.

PALIN: In Montreal? Tell me the radio station call letters.

AVENGERS: CK...hello? If one voice can change the world for Obama, one Viagra can change it for McCain.

[Barely audible from governor's mansion in the background]: ... That's a radio station in France.

PALIN'S AIDE: I'm sorry, I'm going to have to let you go.

AVENGERS: Yeah! Woo-hoo!

Interview With The Masked Avengers And How They Fooled Gov. Palin

Bring down the curtain on McCain and the GOP

No, let's vote Sarah Palin off the island!

It's TIME FOR CHANGE in America

VOTE the Republicans out of office!!!

Palin proves that she can (w)rap

Michele Bachmann (R-MN)

In your heart, she knows she's right.
In your guts, you know she's nuts.

McCain Gags After Last Debate With Obama

Gov. Bimbo, aka Mooselini, Caribou Barbie, etc.

"... "You probably heard that John McCain suspended his presidential campaign yesterday to focus on the financial crises. You had to kind of expect that this might happen. For a man of his age, it's very difficult to maintain an election." –Jimmy Kimmel

Gone Broke - Throw Us A Line
(Sung to the tune of "One Toke Over The Line" by Brewer & Shipley)

Click HERE for MIDI music

As sung by financially and morally bankrupt Wall Street bankers, pleading with Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson (former CEO of bankrupt Goldman Sachs) for a $700 billion "blank check" government welfare bailout to cover their losses

{Refrain}
Gone broke - throw us a line; believe us, gone broke - throw us a line.
We're goin' down; it's a bad situation; gone broke - throw us a line.
Waitin' for a bailout from ol' sweet Henry;
Hoping that we're bailed out on time.
We're goin' down; it's a bad situation; gone broke - throw us a line.

We're... whom you love... old friend, Henry.
Keep arrranging... keep us from bankruptcy.
You've been our boy, and you really felt our pain, when our profits bled.
We stand to lose, and pay the price of greed,
So, bail us out instead, because we've

Gone broke - throw us a line; believe us, gone broke - throw us a line.
We're goin' down; it's a bad situation; gone broke - throw us a line.
Waitin' for a bailout from ol' sweet Henry;
Hoping that we're bailed out on time.
We're goin' down; it's a bad situation; gone broke - throw us a line.

Hear... what we say... as our problems pile.
Bankruptcy we're spurning; save us from cash denial.
We've spread 'round the world (who didn't have a clue): mortgage-junk surprise.
Say whatever sells, or else, we're through.
Save us from pryin' eyes; because we've

Gone broke - throw us a line; believe us, gone broke - throw us a line.
We're goin' down; it's a bad situation; gone broke - throw us a line.
Waitin' for a bailout from ol' sweet Henry;
Hoping that we're bailed out on time.
We're goin' down; it's a bad situation; gone broke - throw us a line.

(instrumental break)

Gone broke - throw us a line; believe us, gone broke - throw us a line.
We're goin' down; it's a bad situation; gone broke - throw us a line.
Waitin' for a bailout from ol' sweet Henry;
Hoping that we're bailed out on time.
We're goin' down; it's a bad situation; gone broke - throw us a line.

Gone broke - throw us a line; believe us, gone broke - throw us a line.
We're goin' down; it's a bad situation; gone broke - throw us a line.
Waitin' for a bailout from ol' sweet Henry;
Hoping that we're bailed out on time.
We're goin' down; it's a bad situation; gone broke - throw us a line.

(repeat refrain and fade)