Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Crappy Holiday
(Sung to "Happy Holiday" by Bing Crosby)

Satire inspired by Sidney Blumenthal's column "Bush's unhappy holidays: The presidential vacationer is being besieged" published in the UK Guardian

Click HERE for MIDI music

As sung by the besieged Emperor Dubya Bush at his Crawford ranch:

Crappy holiday!
Crappy holiday!
What the media tells, keeps clinging:
Cindy Sheehan camp's a zoo.

Crappy holiday!
Crappy holiday!
She's my challenger; she's swinging.
Ruined my holiday; that's true.

Have to hide away reasons:
Our "noble cause" that is Iraq;
No carnage shown from right on the ground.
Cindy Sheehan is still in town.
My polls going down the toilet, down.
Going down the toilet, down.

Have to hide away reasons:
Our "noble cause" killed her boy.
We've made a good world; it's good to enjoy.
I just hate how she would annoy.
My polls going down the toilet, down.
Going down the toilet, down.

I launched a big attack upon I-raq
For my oil cronies, yessiree.
I'll need press puppies to stick, for my old trick:
"Bringing home democracy."

Have to hide away reasons
For just what we do, for the oil we hock.
I don't regret we banged up Iraq.
Nap time's exactly at 1 o'clock.
My polls going down the toilet, down.
Going down the toilet, down.

Crappy holiday!
Crappy holiday!
What the media tells, keeps clinging:
Cindy Sheehan camp's a zoo.

Crappy holiday!
Crappy holiday!
She's my challenger; she's swinging.
Ruined my holiday; that's true.

(repeat last verse and fade)

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Robertson Called For Assassination
(Sung to the tune of "Just My Imagination" by The Temptations)

Satire inspired by Pat Robertson's deranged call for U.S. special forces to assassinate Venezuela President Hugo Chavez, broadcast to millions on viewers on his "700 Club" television show

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Could say it's a window to what gets right wing asses hi-igh...
You say to yourself, "He's such a yucky gu-uy."
Public call for murder;
Right wingers' dream come true.
He appalled all the people in the world;
Spoke so wrongfully...

Robertson called for assassination...
Hugo Chavez won't flee.
Pat had called for assassination.
Hugo Chavez won't flee.

So, Pat was queried... just what did he mean?
Had he spoken for himself, or for our country?
He broke two laws, maybe three.
He'll tell you li-i-i-ies... won't realize at all.
He shouldn't try to scream what he feels; looney schemes.

Robertson called for assassination...
Hugo Chavez won't flee.
Pat had called for assassination.
Hugo Chavez won't flee.

(brief instrumental break)

Every night, on his knees, he'll pray:
"Dear Lord, hear my plea...
To Venezuela, go and take out that Chavez;
Let's see his regime di-i-ie.

Oh, that would be heavenly.
Force of arms foretold me.
Let's end Chavez' dynasty."
But in reality, Pat wants to murder coldly.

Called for assasination - once again...
Hugo Chavez won't flee.
Pat had called for assassina-a-tion.
Hugo Chavez won't flee.

Called for assasination.
Hugo Chavez won't flee.
Pat had called for assassina-a-tion.
Hugo Chavez won't flee.

(repeat refrain and fade)
Call On Our Special Forces
(Sung to the tune of "You Are My Special Angel" by Bobby Helms)

Satire inspired by Pat Robertson's deranged call for U.S. special forces to assassinate Venezuela President Hugo Chavez, broadcast to millions on viewers on his "700 Club" television show

Click HERE for MIDI music

As sung by Pat Robertson, praying to "take out" Hugo Chavez (and not to dinner):

(instrumental intro)

Call on our special forces;
No, we shouldn't bluff.
May Bush smile down on me;
And with Chavez, get rough (get rough)
Call on our special forces;
Not, let's not play nice.
Send hit men, special forces.
No, we shouldn't think twice.

Such bile from his lips!
End Chavez' fun time.
Who cares if we lie? End his reign!
He says too much; causes us disgrace.
Like Castro, he is a pain!

Call on our special forces;
They're our guarantee...
Let's have our special forces
Take him out gracefully.

Such bile from his lips!
End Chavez' fun time.
Who cares if we lie? End his reign!
He says too much; causes us disgrace.
Like Castro, he is a pain!

Call on our special forces;
They're our guarantee...
Let's have our special forces
Take him out gracefully.
Take him out gracefully.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

I Don't Fear You, Mr. Robertson
(Sung to the tune of "Mrs. Robinson" by Simon & Garfunkel)

Inspired by Right wing televangelist Pat Robertson, who openly called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez on his television show, an incident which has embarassed the Bush administration and sparked international outrage

Click HERE for MIDI music

As sung by President of Venezuela Hugo Chavez:

(instrumental intro)

I don't fear you, Mr. Robertson.
Jesus loathes your call for me to "go"... on your show...
Your mind's diseased, Mr. Robertson.
Heaven holds no place for those who'd pray... to go slay...
Me, you'd slay?!

Your right wing show exposed a bit about you and your style.
Your right wing base has earned much for yourself.
Look around you, what you've said has made you quite despised.
So, you've found no grounds to threaten me from home.

I don't fear you, Mr. Robertson.
Jesus loathes your call for me to "go"... on your show...
Your mind's diseased, Mr. Robertson.
Heaven holds no place for those who'd pray... to go slay...
Me, you'd slay?!

(brief instrumental break)

Trying and denying hate just fills your TV shows;
World isn't laughing at your mistakes.
Now expressing regret for your Robertson Hot Air?
Now appalled that your appeal is on the skids?

Just look at you, Mr. Robertson.
Jesus loathes your call for me to "go"... on your show...
Your mind's diseased, Mr. Robertson.
Heaven holds no place for those who'd pray... to go slay...
Me, you'd slay?!

Spitting on our poor folk are you Yanqui right wing loons.
Bush will soon be handed his grim fate.
Gaffe you shouted, can you doubt it?
You're now on the news.
Every way you look at this, you lose.

You're nose is long as Pinocchio.
Your nation turns on and despises you... you cuckoo...
What's that you say, Mr. Robertson?
You want special forces sent my way? That's okay?!
That's okay?!

(instrumental fade)
"Robertson's full name is : Marion Gordon "Pat" Robertson. If you shuffle the letters, you get:

GOD'S NO-PAIN TERROR ROBOT-MAN"

-Oscar Heck, Attribution
Bush attempts to distance himself from Robertson's call to assassinate Venezula President Hugo Chavez

Pat Robertson on his "700 Club" TV show calls for the assassination of Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela... The devil, as they say, is in the details

“You know, I don’t know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don’t think any oil shipments will stop… We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don’t need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It’s a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.”
- Pat Robertson, Wednesday, August 24, 2005

“I didn’t say ‘assassination.’ I said our special forces should ‘take him out.’ ‘Take him out’ could be a number of things including kidnapping.” [You meant special forces will "take out" Chavez to dinner, right, Pat?]
- Pat Robertson, Thursday, August 25, 2005

“Is it right to call for assassination?” Robertson said. “No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him.”
- Pat Robertson, later on Thursday, August 25, 2005

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Casey's Mom Asked Me What Noble Cause
(Sung to "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" by Jimmy Boyd)

Click HERE for MIDI music

The explanation that the Crawford Coward refused to give to Cindy Sheehan, as sung in private by Bush:

(instrumental intro)

Casey's mom asked me "What noble cause?"
Underneath Iraq sits oil (crude light).
I would not with her speak.
I'm a king and she's a freak.
She thought that I had f**ked up;
So my war, I'll have to tweak.

As I said, this war is a noble cause.
Underneath, I fear I'll lose this fight.
How they'd laugh if Cindy wins;
Have to slime her by all means!
Iraq War's a noble cause; that's right!

(brief instrumental break)

Casey's mom asked me "What noble cause?"
Underneath Iraq sits oil (crude light).
I would not with her speak.
I'm a king and she's a freak.
She thought that I had f**ked up;
So my war, I'll have to tweak.

As I said, this war is a noble cause.
Underneath, I fear I'll lose this fight.
How they'd laugh if Cindy wins;
Have to slime her by all means!
Iraq War's a noble cause; that's right!
I've Got To Blow Off Cindy
(Sung to the tune of "Windy" by The Association)

Click HERE for MIDI music

As sung by the Dubya the Crawford Coward:

I'm freakin' out - feel tight in my airway.
Her freakin' name is still on the air.
Polls going down; vacation's been painful.
I've got to blow off Cindy!

Her trip has routed me; I feel sh*tty.
Riled up my neighbors, most whom love me.
Sowed seeds of doubt 'bout my war - bad omen.
I've got to blow off Cindy!

Hit Cindy with swarms of lies!
Re-hash my sound bites; disguise.
But Cindy still clings and tries
Drawing boo-Bush crowds...
Drawing boo-Bush crowds...

(instrumental break)

Hit Cindy with swarms of lies!
Re-hash my sound bites; disguise.
But Cindy still clings and tries
Drawing boo-Bush crowds...
Drawing boo-Bush crowds...

Her trip has routed me; I feel sh*tty.
Riled up my neighbors, most whom love me.
Sowed seeds of doubt 'bout my war - bad omen.
I've got to blow off Cindy!

(repeat final verse and fade)

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Thousands show up for Anti-Bush protests led by Rocky Anderson, Mayor of Salt Lake City, in the "red" state of Utah



Saturday, August 20, 2005



Crosses Got Run Over By The Brain-Dead
(Sung to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" by Elmo & Patsy)

Satire about Larry Northern, a 59-year old Waco, Texas man arrested by police, accused of using his pick-up truck to run over white crosses erected by Bush protestors to commemorate U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq

Click HERE for MIDI music

(instrumental intro)

Crosses got run over by the brain-dead;
Larry Northern saw them and got peeved.
"Cindy should go home!" the Bushies' mantra.
These chickenhawks disgust the parents who grieved.

Bush ain't thinkin' 'cause of brain fog.
Cindy Sheehan's courage did show
Through supporters' dedication
For their loved ones killed in war; with her they'd go.

Crosses got run over by the brain-dead;
Larry Northern saw them and got peeved.
"Cindy should go home!" the Bushies' mantra.
These chickenhawks disgust the parents who grieved.

Vandalism was their warning;
All who dissent, they attack.
They'd leave boot prints on our war dead.
Loud obfuscation, hallmarks of this pack.

Crosses got run over by the brain-dead;
Larry Northern saw them and got peeved.
"Cindy should go home!" the Bushies' mantra.
These chickenhawks disgust the parents who grieved.

Standing tall, these crowds in Crawford.
Bush, not taking this so well.
Right wing pundits making catcalls;
Live in fear and prayin' hard, in case Bush fell.

Right wing's pissed off; hear Rush Limbaugh.
Telling scams, pressing attacks.
But Bush just can't help but blunder.
The momentum will not shift, what if Bush cracks?

Crosses got run over by the brain-dead;
Larry Northern saw them and got peeved.
"Cindy should go home!" the Bushies' mantra.
These chickenhawks disgust the parents who grieved.

Bush's looneys are unable
To free their pRez; stuck like a pig.
Thousand vigils with lit candles
Have them outmatched; this issue got so big.

Not all Bush's Crawford neighbors
Cheer the blood Bush has spilled.
Larry Northern's show of violence
Has now desecrated graves of our troops killed.

Crosses got run over by the brain-dead;
Larry Northern saw them and got peeved.
"Cindy should go home!" the Bushies' mantra.
These chickenhawks disgust the parents who grieved.

Crosses got run over by the brain-dead;
Larry Northern saw them and got peeved.
"Cindy should go home!" the Bushies' mantra.
These chickenhawks disgust the parents who grieved.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Thursday, August 18, 2005

I Am Gonna Ride My Bike Today
(Sung to the tune of "While Strolling Through the Park One Day")

As sung by pResident Bush, who, after repeatedly avoiding Cindy Sheehan in Crawford, is going biking with Lance Armstrong on August 20, 2005:

Click HERE for MIDI music

I am gonna ride my bike today.
Cindy Sheehan just gets in my way.
Her mistake; her son's demise;
So how dare she criticize!
What's important is my war; please go away.

Hostile - the public's turned on me.
All I get in Crawford is more heat!
On horseback, I'm happy as can be.
Riding bikes with Lance, I can retreat... Nah!

Spin in media is falling flat.
That Sheehan has lit a spark.
But I still have no regrets
In Iraq, we went kaboom!
We must win all wars I choose us to embark.

Even Hell has its standards
Bush's image is featured in commercials for Hell Pizza Deliveries in New Zealand, with several slogans that include "Hell: Too Good For Some Evil Bastards," and "Even Hell Has Its Standards."

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Monday, August 15, 2005

Get Along Home, Cindy
(Sung to the tune of "Cindy" by The Kingston Trio)

Satire about pResident Bush's refusal to meet with Cindy Sheehan (whose son Casey was killed in Iraq in the war that Bush started) while vacationing at his Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas

Click HERE for MIDI music

As sung by Emperor Dubya Bush:

I fished at Prairie Chapel,
And chopped wood from a tree.
I will not meet her; Cindy blasts me
On the news, I see.

Get along home, Cindy, Cindy...
Get alone home, Cindy, Cindy...
Get alone home, Cindy, Cindy...
To win my war, need time.

My fans like my religion,
And they support my war.
Now there's no place that I can go
Where grieving parents aren't sore!

Get along home, Cindy, Cindy...
Get alone home, Cindy, Cindy...
Get alone home, Cindy, Cindy...
To win my war, need time.

She said she wants to see me;
My war had killed her son.
Protestors now surround me.
Vacation time's soon done.

Get along home, Cindy, Cindy...
Get alone home, Cindy, Cindy...
Get alone home, Cindy, Cindy...
To win my war, need time.

Protestors hoot and holler;
Accuse me of war crime.
The press should bar or hide her,
'Cause she's yapping all the time.

Get along home, Cindy, Cindy...
Get alone home, Cindy, Cindy...
Get alone home, Cindy, Cindy...
To win my war, need time.

For the last time, go tell Cindy
I won't see her, nor look.
My war's gone south, with more troops dead
My poll support's been shook.

Get along home, Cindy, Cindy...
Get alone home, Cindy, Cindy...
Get alone home, Cindy, Cindy...
To win my war, need time.

Get along home, Cindy, Cindy...
Get alone home, Cindy, Cindy...
Get alone home, Cindy, Cindy...
To win my war, need time.
Support Our Troops - Impeach Bush

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Unaccountable
(Sung to the tune of "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole)

Click HERE for MIDI music

As sung by Emperor Dubya Bush:

Unaccountable... 'cause I'm the Czar.
Unaccountable... that's how kings are.
Never wrong; can't do a thing to me.
Power bought does wondrous things for me
Never before has someone been more...

Unaccountable... I'll get my way.
Through forever-war, that's how I'll stay.
I've got problems unsurmountable.
So what? I'm still unaccountable.
Bush fans think I'm unaccountable, too.

(instrumental break)

Unaccountable... I'll get my way.
Through forever-war, that's how I'll stay.
I've got problems unsurmountable.
So what? I'm still unaccountable.
Bush fans think I'm unaccountable, too.

John Bolton as Capt. Kook
Bush's "Abcess Appointment" of Revoltin' Bolton